‘Heartbreak of watching dementia take my darling Prunella’
MOVING ACCOUNT BY THE HUSBAND OF MRS BASIL FAWLTY
THEY have spent a lifetime together after marrying over fifty years ago – Now Timothy West has revealed the heartache at seeing his wife Prunella Scales slip away as she battles with dementia.
The 81-year-old actor admitted that while he cherishes the time he has with Ms Scales, 83, the effects of the disease can make communication difficult – leaving both of them ‘frustrated’.
‘The sad thing is that you just watch the gradual disappearance of the person you knew and loved and were very close to,’ he said. ‘If you live day to day it is manageable.
‘It is when you start thinking of the past and you think, “Oh what a shame she can’t do that any more”, or you can’t talk about this any more. Then it is sad.’
Fawlty Towers star Miss Scales confessed in 2013 that she was struggling with her memory, and could not even recall the year she married her husband – 1963.
Now in a moving television interview, Mr West – who has appeared in EastEnders, Coronation Street and numerous other stage and screen roles – has revealed the moment he first realised his wife was struggling.
‘Watching the person you love disappear’
He said that she was performing a play in Greenwich when her acting did not seem as effortless as it once was. ‘I thought, it is not that Pru has forgotten her lines,’ he told Piers Morgan’s Life Stories. ‘It’s that I can see her thinking. She never delayed her responses – but it was the difference from what she had always been.
‘I knew something was wrong. But it took me a long time to realise what it was.’
Despite Mr West insisting that Miss Scales was still able to work, he said it was now harder for her to attract employment. ‘She can do quite a lot,’ he explained.
‘As the story gets around, not a lot of people are rushing to employ her – but she still enjoys it. She can do an awful lot of radio, voice-overs and she teaches. She is a very good teacher. We are essential to each other. So long may it continue.’
He added that the decline of Ms Scales had ‘stunned everybody’ but that ‘mercifully’ her dementia had developed slowly.
Speaking about the way it has affected their relationship, he said that their conversations had taken the biggest hit.
‘Perhaps we have been to a concert, a play or a film and there is not much we can say about it afterwards because Pru will have a fairly hazy memory,’ he said.
‘I should think it is very frustrating for Pru. She is very kind and does not let on about it. It is frustrating for me of course. We need each other very much.’
Ms Scales – who has two sons with Mr West, as well as a step-daughter from his previous marriage – was in the audience for the show, which airs on ITV tomorrow.
The actress had recorded a heartfelt video message to be played for her husband on the show. She said: ‘Tim is just a lovely person. I continue to find him challenging, attractive and wise. One way or another we have lasted – we understand each other.’
Their sons also recorded messages. Actor Sam, 49, said: ‘My mother’s memory loss is very sad. It requires an enormous amount of patience and love and understanding. They want to make the most of the time they have got left and live in the moment.’
His younger brother Joe, a teacher, said: ‘My mother is still very much herself but you don’t always have access to her.
‘They are so close intellectually – it is what their relationship has been about and [now] that has changed.’