Don’t get it thong... big pants are BACK!
The market has finally bottomed out for flimsy pants with even the Victoria’s Secret Angels covering up, writes Lisa Brady
AS I WATCHED the likes of Gigi Hadid, Adriana Lima and model of the hour Kendall Jenner strut their stuff at the latest Victoria’s Secret spectacle in New York City’s Lexington Armor, a couple of things came to mind.
Firstly, I would not be having that extra slice of toast, and secondly, the show wasn’t as cheeky as I thought it would be — literally. Of course, there was the usual parade of fantastical dress-up, and just the right amount of flesh on show to cause a stir (just not enough to incite genuine concern for the models’ health and safety).
That’s not to say it wasn’t risque or sexy — we are talking about Victoria’s Secret after all — but the Angels donning more fabric than usual may just be confirmation that the tide has turned for the thong
Perhaps we should have spotted it sooner — for example when Kendall Jenner caused an Instagram frenzy during the summer wearing large, white iconic Calvin Kleins, suggestively peeking out the back of her jeans. At the Angels show (televised tonight on 4Music, 9pm), Gigi donned a similar look, with logo emblazoned pants firmly covering her hips — paired with a bizarre pair of construction work chaps.
And what about Susannah Constantine, the 53 year old style guru who recently wore her granny pants on I’m A Celebrity Get Me Out Of Here?
She sparked a furore by flaunting her choice of undies (nude bloomers) on live TV, with some meanies suggesting she should have paid a trip to Victoria’s Secret herself before her jungle stint.
But why would she? There may be a substantial age difference between her and Kendall, but they’ve both got the skinny when it comes to their pants. Big smalls are in. Flimsy it seems, has been left in the naughty Nineties, as Noughties ladies rank comfort over overt sex appeal.
After all, scraps of material hiding your modesty are all very well when you’re aged 18-24 — chances are you have a neat little chassis — but fast forward a couple of decades and science will not be on your side. Gravity and expansion, courtesy of age, children, alcohol and poor carb-loading decisions, have been happily playing tug of war and the resulting bulk needs to be harnessed like an unruly child. And with the big bottom trend is set to continue, you’re hardly going to get curves like Kim K without a bit of scaffolding.
‘Less than one in ten of the knickers we sell in Ireland is a thong,’ says Soozie Jenkinson, Head of Lingerie Design at M&S. ‘The shape is decreasing in popularity as women are falling in love with shapes like the Brazilian as a no VPL alternative.’
The High Leg, Midi or Boxer-style briefs are the fashionable new shapes these days. ‘In terms of style, there is no place for Bridget Jones boring knickers either in our ranges,’ says Jenkinson. ‘Our customers are loving anything lacy at the moment, whether to match back with a bra, or to add femininity to their everyday underwear wardrobe.’
British retailer John Lewis, which conducted a recent survey of consumer buying patterns, also found that in general, skimpy underwear has dropped down our list of coveted items, alongside fishnet stockings. Take that 50 Shades Of Grey.
‘We have finally fallen out of love with smalls in favour of big, comfy pants,’ said a spokesman. ‘No longer associated with Bridget Jones, the big pant is now beautiful.’
Whoa there just a second — is this the anti-Bridget Jones brigade? We beg to differ. Surely it’s no coincidence that filming has commenced on Bridget Jones’ Baby (due to hit our screens in September 2016), and Renée Zellweger has being spotted looking meatier than usual on location in London, at the same time we rediscover our love for larger lingerie? Roslyn Ellis, group buyer of lingerie, swimwear and hosiery at luxury store Brown Thomas, says that although there is definitely a shift from thongs to bigger pants, women require a variety of go-to styles in their underwear drawer — and practical definitely does not mean dull.
‘Two out of ten women will probably buy a thong in our store,’ she says. ‘But the reality is a full brief can actually be sexier, and not to mention comfier.’
The latest innovation and fabric technology means you are not just getting any old pair of knickers this days, with laser-cut techniques, flat lace finish and in-built shaping in the most delicate of materials.
‘You no longer have to choose between functional or luxurious underwear. You can have both — all brands put serious thought into their prod-
ucts now. Detailing is paramount,’ says Ellis. For example, Brown Thomas stock brands like Commando, exquisite shapewear favoured by Rihanna — and we all know how she loves to flash the flesh.
So women the world over can comfortably exhale a sigh of relief, safe in the knowledge that although we may be moving away from brief briefs, lingerie with sex appeal is very much here to stay.
As well as covered bottoms, there was another defining moment in the catwalk show. Model Maira Borges requested that she appear with her short, natural Afro hair — those who walk traditionally have long hair, and most are given extensions for the event. Perhaps further evidence that the world’s largest lingerie brand is getting real.
But what’s the guys take on this? Well, men, it could be said, like the simple things in life. Most desire, or even require, little complication when it comes to grooming, shopping and eating.
It could be argued that this translates similarly to the bedroom. Women, jolted into action by those ethereal Angels, may feel it’s necessary to provide all sorts of lingerie paraphernalia when it comes to seducing their frankly baffled partner.
But have you ever thought that maybe all they really want to see is a decent pair of pants? Or (the likelier option), none at all?
And have we ever stopped to think how those scary strings might actually be harmful to the opposite sex, awakening suppressed school yard memories of wedgies and the like?
Of course, there are other practicalities to address when it comes to your undress.
The construction of the thong is not exactly comfortable, nor is it particularly hygienic. Studies have shown that they can actually contribute to yeast infections and irritation, which are definitely not on any Christmas wish list.
Speaking of which, here’s our take on some infinitely better underwear alternatives...
BUYERS BEWARE!
Now guys, you may (as a loving partner of course) have yourself carefully studied the Victoria’s Secret show, all in the name of Christmas shopping research for your beloved. Well done you! But although you might be crossing that Gstring off your list, there are some important things to note. Although we say big pants are back — and no matter how many times your beloved complains about the size of her behind — you should never buy shapewear unless you know your partner wants it. You do that, and you’re on your own. Similarly, the afore mentioned chaps, see-through flares (thanks Myleene), and even a tacky diamond-encrusted bra (unless it ACTUALLY costs €2 million) are unlike to rouse much enthusiasm.
There are more practical and tasteful options — including shapewear— that your lady is sure to love.
‘Sophisticated shapewear is actually a really thoughtful gift. The key is to observe the kind of underwear your partner wears and make choices based on that,’ says Ellis.
As for the hapless hubby who can’t bother figuring out his wife’s cup size for example, opt for a feminine vest and brief set, or silk robe or chemise.
‘And there’s always the original red teddy, which some people still love,’ says Ellis. ‘This Christmas, there are endless options.’