Why we all need to open up about emotions
MENTAL health awareness received a boost this month with a new TV series and a cycling event that shone additional light on a dark November.
On Sunday night Bressie’s TV show Ironmind made its debut. The first episode looked at four brave individuals who were experiencing mental health issues — depression, anxiety and grief following family bereavement by suicide. Bressie was tasked with preparing them for a gruelling Ironman 70.3 triathlon with the help of a team of experts.
While they trained hard physically, their real transformation was emotional. Each participant developed new coping strategies and mental fitness that allowed them to deal much more effectively with the negative internal critic.
Bressie, who has experienced mental health issues himself, says he has ‘an unwavering belief that people who live with a mental illness have an inner strength and resilience that once found and released, can allow them to overcome any challenge.’
As a clinical psychologist, I concur. Here is the thing: psychologically it is about making change to bring a person from a negative place to a place where life has more pleasure, meaning and engagement. To achieve this growth and change, it’s not about finding something new. It’s about starting with the individual and focusing on their own strength, resilience and resources.
TRY this simple exercise and you will see how it works: t hi nk a bout a time in your life when you were at your best, write it down and reflect on this memory once a day for a week.
Another great health advocate, Conor Cusack, calls individuals who open up about their emotional lives ‘warriors of the light’. By opening up, someone has taken a stand to try and reach out to others who may still be lost in the dark and to remove some of the bricks in a wall of stigma that is slowly breaking down.
In Ironmind, Bressie explores the impact of physical exercise on mental health issues. There is really strong evidence to support this. For mild to moderate depression, three or f our 40- minute exercise sessions a week is the equivalent of anti- depressant medication. It’s incredible.
Participants on the show were supported with counselling, therapy, CBT, mindfulness sessions, an exercise programme and diet advice. Ironmind is a good shout out to us all. It shows that if you want things to change, you need new tools; however, it is the oldest tools of all — connection, communication, opening up and peer-topeer support — that are the ‘power ingredients’, allowing people to live freely from shame, stigma and judgement.
Speaking about warriors of the light, last Friday I was among 200 souls who took part in the SpinOff event from Galway to the lonely fields of Athenry and back for Cycle Against Suicide.
Jim Breen set up Cycle Against Suicide with the aim of starting a conversation about mental health in schools, businesses and communities throughout Ireland.
Suicide is claiming the lives of more than 800 people each year on the island of Ireland. This includes fathers and mothers, wives and husbands, sons and daughters, sisters and brothers, best friends and colleagues.
The National Strategy for Suicide, which is called Connecting for Life, aims to reduce suicide by at least 10 per cent over the next five years. This target is just not high enough. The i ncredible people involved in this process need to be given the time, and supported financially and strategically, to ramp this target up.
A school life- skills programme needs to be embedded in primary and secondary school cycles. Topics covered should include decisionmaking and problem- solving; creative thinking and critical thinking; communication and interpersonal skills; self-awareness and empathy; and coping with emotions and stress.
Everyone has some connection with suicide, self-harm or depression. There is no them and us, there’s only us. It’s about breaking the cycle of suicide together, shoulder to shoulder.
There was a lunchtime stopover on the SpinOff at the Presentation College in Athenry, where the inspirational speaker Owen Diviney talked about matching the values in your life to your actions.
HE EXPLAINED that employing ABC (Attitude, Belief and Commitment) you fight off D (Depression). With a positive attitude, a strong sense of self-belief and the commitment to do what it takes, nothing can stand in the way of your success. I understand now why so many schools enlist the help of Owen, and I would encourage more to do so.
I too spoke a few words. I posed the powerful question: ‘What would you do if you were not afraid?’ Too often individuals avoid situations and people because they are afraid. Does this happen to you? If so, it’s time to change. Fear is like a muscle; avoidance is like a super genetically modified protein shake that enhances this fear muscle.
Tackling fear is a step-by- step process that involves building success incrementally and strategically while telling yourself, ‘ by tackling my fears I am freeing myself’.
The core message from both the talk and Bressie’s TV show is that it’s ok not to feel ok, and it’s absolutely ok to ask for help. If people can talk openly about their mental health and emotional wellbeing with friends, family and even colleagues, we can create a culture and environment where help- seeking behaviour becomes normalised and promoted. It would work the same way as when you hurt your knee and your friends suggest you go to a doctor or physio.
You too can be part of this change. Register with Cycle Against Suicide as a cyclist, volunteer or homestay provider (see cycleagainstsuicide.com). Together, shoulder to shoulder, let’s break the cycle of suicide.
Find your strengths and resilience and cultivate them so you too can answer the question: What would you do if you were not afraid?