Louboutin, a shoe doctor who wants to heel you...
DOWN through its decades as Dublin’s premier rock ’n’roll venue, The Baggot Inn was witness to a few peculiar sights. I think it’d be fair to say that quite a number of them involved The Joshua Trio, the spoof U2 tribute band set up by Paul Woodfull and Arthur Mathews in the late Eighties.
Not only did Woodfull neatly lampoon Bono’s messianic antics, he used to take it a step further by going on stage wearing the sort of robes more usually associated with Jesus Christ himself.
In the run-up to Easter one year, he recreated Jesus’s triumphant entry into Jerusalem by arriving in the venue astride a donkey and throwing palm branches into the audience.
Trust me, I saw this with my own two eyes.
There was another, scarcely less bizarre evening in which yours truly actually played a supporting role. For reasons now lost in the mists of time, the Trio used to sometimes perform a version of the late Robert Palmer’s 1986 hit Addicted To Love.
The original video for that song had been at the centre of a sexism row due to the number of heavily made- up, poker- f aced f emale models posing unconvincingly as Palmer’s backing group.
Which, to cut a long story short, is how several overgrown gents – of which I was one – ended up wearing mini-skirts made out of bin liners onstage at the Baggot. There is photographic evidence of this event in existence, though thankfully I haven’t seen it for many years now.
I can’t say that the experience gave me much of a taste for crossdressing, but even if it had I don’t think I’d ever have got used to the requisite footwear.
I’m the sort of bloke who finds it so difficult to find a comfortable pair of shoes, that when I do, I tend to wear them until they practically fall asunder.
After watching Christian Louboutin: The World’s Most Luxurious Shoes, I’m more glad than ever that my one performance at The Baggot Inn didn’t bring out my inner Eddie Izzard.
Since 1991, the 52- year- old Parisian has run what is now undoubtedly the most coveted shoe brand on the market.
His factory outside Milan knocks out 25,000 pairs of his red- soled designs every month at an average retail price of ¤850, although they can cost up to ¤4,000.
Needless to say, the bespoke versions – as worn by the likes of Angelina Jolie, Tina Turner, Kylie Minogue, Christina Aguilera, Sofia Coppola and even Prince – come at an even heftier price.
Three grand will only cover the cost for the mould of each client’s feet.
Not that the amusing and articulate Louboutin was overly-keen to discuss his celebrity customers, though. ‘I do have famous clients, yes, of course,’ he told documen-
CHRISTIAN LOUBOUTIN: THE WORLD’S MOST LUXURIOUS SHOES, TUESDAY, CH4, 9PM
tary-maker Michael Waldman.
‘But I feel like a designer and also like a doctor. And as you probably know, a doctor has secrets and a doctor never speaks of his patients.
‘When I do things which are public for my patients, around a movie, I will easily discuss it.
‘But otherwise I do not discuss my patient-slash-client, as a good doctor should,’
Earlier he’d wryly described himself as ‘an artisan of luxury’ and, while referring to one particular pair of vertiginous heels as ‘beautiful’, admitted they were ‘not the most comfortable’.
He elaborated later on: ‘Many, many times I’ve been hearing wom- en saying: ‘Oh, I can’t walk in these shoes.’
And I thought, well, one day I really want to design shoes which will not be made to walk [in] and there will be no possibility to walk in.’
Like I say, I think it’s just as well I never got into the habit of teetering around on five-inch stilettoes.