Dad was so excited when Jason asked me to marry him. But then he was taken from us
Thousands saw her boyfriend from Kodaline propose at the Ed Sheeran concert... But heartbreak was to follow for Etáoin Corr
KEVIN Corr shook his future son-in-law’s hand and, beaming with fatherly pride, gave his blessing. Kodaline bassist Jason Boland had just revealed his plan to ask Kevin’s only daughter Etáoin to marry him that night — and it was to be no ordinary proposal.
A few hours later, a shell-shocked Etáoin was ushered up on to the stage at Ed Sheeran’s sellout Croke Park concert, after the star declared: ‘Jay from Kodaline would love to say a few words,’ following a rousing rendition of The Auld Triangle by Ed Sheeran, Glen Hansard and the Kodaline lads.
Taking the mic, Jason told the 80,000 screaming fans: ‘I’m going to really embarrass and ruin someone’s life right now. She’s been my best friend since we were about five years old. I can’t imagine another day without this girl.’
Then Jason dropped down on one knee and asked his childhood sweetheart to marry him. Etáoin can’t remember if she even said yes before collapsing into Jay’s arms as the crowd — having witnessed one of the most romantic surprise wedding proposals ever — went wild.
‘It was the happiest day of my life, and the happiest day of my dad’s too,’ smiles Etáoin, 27.
Sadly Kevin couldn’t be there at Croke Park with his wife Frances to witness their daughter’s magical moment. The previous day, he had been taken into St Vincent’s Hospital with a suspected virus. So the first thing Etáoin and Jason did the following day was go straight to see him in St Vincent’s to show off her sparkling ring and share the night’s stories. Etáoin laughs as she recalls the celebratory scenes they encountered on the wards.
‘Dad was the happiest I’ve ever seen him, having the time of his life with all the nurses coming in with their phones showing him the videos of Jay proposing,’ laughs Etáoin. ‘He felt like a celebrity.
‘He was so excited and we showed him all the newspapers with the proposal stories. Jason hooked up the big screen with the wi-fi at the end of his bed and we watched it on YouTube. Dad was like: “Oh, look, Glen Hansard.” I was laughing, like “Dad, I’m there too”.’
Soon the talk turned to plans for the big engagement party the happy couple planned to throw a few weeks later, once Kevin was home from hospital. He was raging he’d missed the i mpromptu party the night before when Etáoin, Jay and all their friends — as well as Ed and Glen — took over the Hacienda pub in Dublin’s Capel Street.
‘Ed met us at the door of the Hacienda and he said to me: “I’m so sorry for doing that to you!”,’ says Etáoin. ‘We had a singsong in the pub with Ed and Glen — Dad was asking all about it and saying: “Ah, I’d love to have been there.”
‘He felt so bad about missing it. He said: “Had I known all of this I wouldn’t have come into hospital.”
‘We thought he’d a virus or a kidney problem,’ says Etáoin. ‘We were worried, of course, but thought sure he’ll be grand.
‘He didn’t seem sick, just a bit tired, like he had a virus but he’d be fine after a good rest.’
On Sunday evening, Etáoin kissed her dad goodbye and flew back to London — where she has been living and working in music PR for the last seven months — in time to be back at her desk at the Charm Factory, on Monday morning.
By Wednesday, Etáoin received devastating news from home. Her dad had cancer, and it was not looking good.
Five years ago Kevin had been diagnosed with cancer lymphoma in his groin and arms but doctors caught it early. He underwent chemotherapy and made a full recovery.
‘Doctors said if the cancer was to come back it would be within two to three years but five years later, he was flying it. He got such a new lease of life after being sick. Two weeks before the engagement he was at The Who in the O2.
‘He didn’t smoke and rarely drank and he was so active, working as the head gardener at the Heritage Community Garden in Donnybrook. It was such a massive shock to us and everyone who knew him. He said he felt tired for a couple of weeks but being a typical man, dragged his heels about going to the doctor. It was very advanced by then though.’
Doctors immediately started Kevin on chemotherapy.
‘The way we looked at it, Dad fought it before and won, and he could do it again,’ says Etáoin. ‘You have to keep positive and we were.
‘On Thursday I spoke to him on the phone but his breathing was bad. He kept saying: “I’ve a big engagement party to get to and I can’t miss it.” At lunchtime, I just got this feeling I needed to go home. I rang Jay and he booked me a flight.
‘I got home on Thursday night but it was too late to visit so I rang the nurse. She said she was about to ring and told myself and Mam to come straight away.’
By then Etáoin’s dad had been moved into intensive care.
‘We went in and said we were just up saying hello and gave him a hug and a kiss. He wasn’t panicked or scared. He knew he was sick but I don’t think he knew how sick. He could barely speak but he turned around and said: “Did you get those tickets for Van the Man?” He lifted up his three fingers, mouthing “three tickets”, meaning for his brother Des, and his friend Eddie. They were “the three amigos” — they went to all the gigs together.’
Etáoin continues: ‘ The nurse told us his vitals were very bad, but we knew dad was a fighter.
‘They had to put a tube into his stomach and that was successful. We smiled and kissed him and said see you in the morning.’
Wiping her tears away, Etáoin whispers: ‘At 9am they rang and said to come up to the hospital. We went up and he had just passed.’ Jay immediately flew home from a Kodaline band project in Switzerland to be with Etáoin, and on Tuesday, at Kevin’s funeral at the Star of the Sea Church in Sandymount, the whole band gave a very special performance, that Etáoin, her mother Frances and Kevin’s many friends and family will never forget.
‘They played dad’s favourite song, Crazy Love by Van — he always sang that around the house — and The Needed Time by Eric Bibb, another of his very favourites. Then they played their songs Talk and Love Will Set You Free.
‘It was so uplifting and hopeful and a real celebration, more like a gig than a funeral.’
Etáoin smiles: ‘That’s what my dad would have wanted.’
Etáoin is now considering moving back home, as ‘it’s just me and my mum now’ — although her mother is trying to convince her to stay in London, where she is making great strides in her career.
‘It’s so strange as I’m still getting congratulations calls and messages. It’s been such a rollercoaster going from being on top of the world to...’ she trails off. ‘It’s hard to take it all in.
‘Afterwards I got angry, thinking “my dad won’t be there to walk me up the aisle”. Every little girl dreams of that but I know I was so, so lucky to be able to go in and show my dad the ring and share all the excitement with him and that made him so happy.
‘I know my dad would hate it if all the excitement was overshadowed by him, so I’m trying to think of how happy and excited he was. We miss Dad so much, the house is so empty
‘Dad was the happiest I’ve ever seen him’ ‘His funeral was more like a gig’
without his huge energy but Jay has been a rock for me and mum, taking care of us, reminding us to eat and being that energy in the house that’s missing. He was home all last week but had to leave today for Hong Kong then Japan for ten days.
‘Jay was very close to my dad. He has been in the family since forever. I’m an only child so he was like the son my dad never had.’
As it turns out, Jay’s proposal was just one chapter in what has been a truly romantic love story. Speaking to me just after Jason proposed at Croke Park, Etáoin revealed she first met Jay on her first day in Junior Infants, at Scoil Bhríde primary school, in Straffan, Co. Kildare.
‘We were pretty much best friends,’ says Etáoin. ‘My mum has a story about how Jason’s granny who is into horse riding, was galloping by the house one day and she dropped Jay into the house — “you’ve got a little girl, I’ve a boy, perfect,” she said to mum. We were inseparable, every day after school and every weekend and birthday party. Then we moved to Dublin when I was eight but we always visited and he came to stay with us. You don’t think of boyfriends or girlfriends at that age — we were just the best of friends.
‘Jason’s grandad Tony Boland used to work in the media industry and he used to drive Jason up to stay with us on the weekends.
‘Tony brought us to see Michael Jackson at the RDS when we were nine years old. That was the first concert we went to. Tony took us to lots of concerts and that’s where it really all started for me, that deep love and passion for music.’
As teenagers, living in different towns, Etáoin and Jay drifted apart for a while but reconnected on social media site Bebo, bonding once again over music and bands.
They started meeting up for gigs with their friends. Jason went to study music at UCC while Etáoin went to UCD to study arts, before her PR Masters.
‘He was at home for the summer and he messaged asking me to come to an electro music night. Something was different and he held my hand. There was no conversation about it. He kissed me and I kissed him back. It just felt right but being friends with someone for so long, I was a bit embarrassed. The next day he asked me if I wanted to go for a date. We went to Killiney Beach and we flew kites with our friends.’
She laughs: ‘My mum and dad were over the moon. They said they knew that was going to happen.
‘After our first date, my mum invited him in and gave him the biggest hug in the world. He never got filthy looks from my dad. They always loved him.
‘ When people j oke about girls marrying someone like their dad, it’s scary, as Jason and my dad are so alike. Jay is very smart and intellectual but quiet and so is my dad — neither of them like football but love music and things like Game Of Thrones. They bonded over so many things and got on amazingly well.’
It was a love of music, and Kodaline in particular, that Etáoin believes helped her dad bounce back with such zest after his first battle with cancer five years ago.
Having worked as a photographer, and then a lab technician trainer with Diageo for years, Kevin began teaching horticulture and gardening courses to people with acquired brain injuries, at Headway.
He was over the moon when he was offered his dream j ob as head gardener at the 200-year-old walled Heritage Community Garden project in Donnybrook, where many of his students joined him as volunteers. But his recovery also coincided with the rise of Kodaline — and according to Etáoin, this put a spring in his step like nothing else.
‘Jason and the lads have no idea how happy they made my dad in the last five years.
‘Dad was their biggest groupie and he went to every concert. He went to the smaller gigs like Whelan’s all the way up to the O2 and over to Amsterdam.
‘Being backstage and caught up in it all was the biggest thing that ever happened to my dad. They got him passes and he was there in the press pit taking all the photographs. He was beside himself. I’ll always be thankful for that. The lads gave him an amazing gift.’
Long-term, Etáoin plans to channel her energies into raising money for cancer research.
‘It might sound clichéd but I really want to do that. I will give me peace. I’m sure the boys will help me. Cancer affects everybody.’
For now, she is taking it day by day. ‘My work has been so understanding and I never knew how many amazing friends we had — we’re so blessed.
‘I’m going to my dad’s community garden with Jason’s granny this week to spend some time there. He loved it there and they miss him so much.
‘They made the most beautiful, huge display wreath using flowers that my dad grew. I really feel like he is still around, his energy. That will always be with us. I’m not usually a believer in things like that but, like Jason says, energy lives on.
‘We were inseparable and got on so well that it feels more like losing a best friend. But nothing was left unsaid and I told him I loved him all the time. I’ve no regrets.
‘And I know the most important thing is my dad was here to see all of this. He said yes to Jay, I accept you into my family, you can marry my girl.’
‘Jason was the son dad never had’