HOW CAN I MAKE MY FRIEND LISTEN?

One of my close friends is constantly obsessing about how she looks and her confidence is knocked if she thinks someone is more attractive than her. She is 27, beautiful, has a lovely figure and nice hair, but always criticises herself and says she is not slim or pretty enough. She hates her curly hair and spends hours straightening it. The reality is that she is very popular and never short of male attention, she eats well and I think she looks great. I have listened to her moaning for the past six years and I am afraid I’m getting fed up with it as nothing I say makes any difference. How can I help her? I imagine she doesn’t do this with all her friends, otherwise she would not be so popular. She probably doesn’t mean to, but I think she is taking advantage of your kindness because you are a loyal and sympathetic friend. It’s not fair on you. Next time, tell her you think she looks great and you truly value her as a friend, but gently mention that you think she needs professional advice as nothing you say makes a difference. To help with her low self-confidence, encourage her to read The Gifts of Imperfection by Brené Brown. She may also be suffering from body dysmorphia, where someone obsesses about their imagined imperfections, so she should seek counselling, through her GP or through the Irish Association for Counselling and Psychotherapy. together for six months. We are both in our late 30s. I love him, but recently found some women’s clothes in the back of his wardrobe. I was shocked. When I confronted him, he reluctantly admitted that he likes to cross-dress. I feel quite repulsed by this and don’t know what to do. He is embarrassed, ashamed and says he won’t do it again. thought you would find it difficult to cope with. Some women can accept that their partner likes to cross-dress and help them with their clothes and make-up. Other women can only tolerate it as long as their partner does it in private and doesn’t involve them. But some women feel as you do and reject the whole idea. You have only just found out and are still in shock, so give yourself time. Talk to your partner and ask him to be open about his cross-dressing and what he is interested in. Explain to him how you feel and see if you might eventually be able to accept it. If not, it would be better to end the relationship as this is not something he can change, despite his insistence that he will not do it again. For further help, contact The Transgender Equality Network Ireland (teni.ie).