The Hindu (Thiruvananthapuram)
The service dream
From rejection and self-doubt to resilience and a hope for success
ended 10 months ago when I failed the preliminary examination in my last attempt. When the mark sheet came, it turned out that I had crossed the cut-o for the actual paper but failed the aptitude test. This was more painful. Imagine securing 100% in your board examination in all subjects and then failing in physical education. This is exactly like that.
One might say, what is even the purpose of pondering on this? Well, for us aspirants, the pain never goes away. The aspirants’ journey entails a sheer amount of hard work and a great deal of resilience, patience, and endurance. You will always nd characters around you who never fail to demotivate you or discredit your e ort. They would say: “A probability of 0.01% and you think you will make it? Ha, don’t waste your time.” Or, “Oh, that person was an IITian, and that is why they could clear it.”
Having the service dream in itself is a courageous move. For most of us aspirants, it is a dream that holds meaning, a dream that can transform lives, a dream that goes beyond self and puts others rst. While most of our non-aspirant peers are crossing various milestones in life, we are di erent. We nd happiness in that room, rummaging through our notes, revising the new and old amendments made to the Constitution, visualising the world map in our heads, and recalling the architectural achievements of the Cholas. We are happy because we are hopeful that one day all this e ort will have a beautiful ending.
Failure in this journey is not uncommon, but it remains limited to the selection process. At the end of it all, you will succeed in becoming a better version of yourself. However, the pain still remains. toddlers to octogenarians, anyone can take to the reel stage and shake a leg (or break one).
An old couple, sporting sunglasses, were devotedly learning the #KatchiSera dance steps on their terrace while their son sneaked away with his girlfriend. I heard this story from an acquaintance who shared my apathy towards reels.
More worrying is the state of those constantly trying to perfect the art of making reels. They change costume every minute, practise the same dance steps a few hundred times and ask my opinion — a few thousand times — and in the end choose not to do the reel. These people have taught me the most important lesson in life — to not talk about reels.
Instead, I talk about the sky, the ®owers, and vainly attempt to tweet #Lookupplease.