ATTAINING SELF-RELIANCE
SELF-RELIANCE is not about changing ourselves; it is about becoming ourselves. Underneath all our artificial exterior is a human being waiting to be woken up. Ignoring or betraying this authentic self is what is responsible for in this world. What we are seeking really is to discover ourselves. By doing so we uncover the divine energy that runs through each and everyone of us. We can start right now to live genuinely by living from our hearts and not from our heads. It would not be untrue if we say ‘we are afraid of truth, afraid of each other.’ It is rather mysterious why people should live in mountains and jungles instead of embracing civilization, reclaiming themselves and live their lives of self-reliance and authenticity. Although it appears that benefits far outweigh deficits, most of us continue looking towards parents, community, religion and politicians for guidelines and rules.
Seeking approval from others is a weakness of many human beings. Many of us are programmed to depend on others for our own self-worth and dignity. This tendency leads people away from themselves causing lowering of self-esteem and creation of self-hatred. When we hate ourselves we allow people to inflict all kinds of abuses upon us because we feel that we deserve it. Emerson believed that this approval-seeking behaviour leads to betrayal and slow destruction of our real self.
Self betrayal begins in a small way like wearing clothes as others do, rather than what we like. We borrow ideas, accents and styles from others and behave like others do. Our career choice again originates from a desire to please others or to be accepted even though it may be contrary to our behavioural patterns. It is something like the ‘Yes Sir’ syndrome where independent thinking is sacrificed at the alter of career building. Self-reliance is to tear off this mask and begin the journey on the road to self-discovery. Self-building starts with shedding conformity and building up the real person we really are. Self-reliance is the way to authentic power. Within us lies the untapped energy which can be released only through congruent living i.e., what we say and do reflecting our inner life.