Ageless persons who find time for life and passion
AGEISM IS RAGING UNQUESTIONED. IT’S TIME TO APPLAUD ALL THOSE AGELESS PERSONS WHO FIND TIME FOR LIFE AND PASSION
Age, they say, is just a number. But as the numbers progress, does the societal attitude towards experienced citizens remain the same? A few weeks ago, pop icon Madonna, at the world premiere of her latest single Medellín from the album MadamX, was seen sporting a cowboy hat, corseted bridal gown, veil and red lipstick putting on a saucy display with Columbian singer Maluma in the video. The 60-year-old singer’s raunchy video song, though comes as a delight to her fans, courted a controversy when BBC Radio 1, which failed to play the track on its playlist, was accused of being ‘ageist’ by Madonna’s admirers. What ensued was a rant spree on Twitter where people unleashed their ire on BBC for disrespecting the biggest selling female artist in history, excluding seasoned artists, calling for change by stopping ageism in the music industry.
Ageism, according to the World Health Organisation, is the stereotyping, prejudice and discrimination towards people on the basis of age. Unlike sexism and racism, however, ageism is socially accepted and unusually challenged because of its implicit and subconscious nature. Constantly under the radar for their choices, people who cross a certain age are expected to follow a set of unwritten rules and those who don’t are being mocked at ruthlessly. The most ridiculous part is that this discrimination is rarely questioned. The result: a whole lot of human beings who live an ignored and invisible life!
For actor and model Dinesh Mohan, who turned 60 early this year, ageism is a very relatable war. “I have been facing this in various forms now. Why I try to look like a youngster at this age, why do I walk around sporting jeans instead of sitting at home praying… Delhiites are not that kind towards people like me. Many believe that I am faking my age; they can’t even take it that a sexagenarian can stay fit and walk the ramp,” says the silver fox, who ventured into modeling three years ago after ending a long fight with depression and obesity.
Busy with travels, shoots, ramp walks, advertisement projects, movies like Salman Khan-starrer Bharat and Anurag Kashyap’s Saand ki Aankh, Dinesh says he loves himself and would want to stay younger at heart, always. “I would never want to live a retired life. I can’t ever discuss politics, inflation, property or children. Fashion, acting, glitz and glamour look cool to me. I don’t care about negative stereotyping. I am happy the way I look – sporting silver hair and a fit physique. What matters are health and happiness; nothing else,” he says.
However, Dinesh is well aware of the plight of his peers. He adds, “I have many loners and ignored singles and couples as neighbours. Even my mom who stays with my brother faces isolation due to her age. At a time they need attention, they are being forced to sit at home and please society. What for? They have spent their whole life for their children and now, it’s time to interact with people, be financially independent, globetrot, party, go on dates, enjoy companionship and love yourself. Step out and do things you never had time to do.”
Of late, hopeful signs of change are being noticed against ageism worldwide. Popular media has started opening up to discussing the life of the elders – their choice to fall in love, get married, be sexually active, dance, look good, dress up, travel and do whatever they want without being judged. The recent times saw movies like Badhaai Ho (where a middle-aged couple gets pregnant), Once Again (where two lonely persons – a widowed restaurateur and an actor – fall in
In India, a woman who turns 40 or 50 is considered good to only run the home, look after her husband, children and in-laws. She doesn’t enjoy herself, she falls ill, turns fat and is proud of it all – because she is an epitome of sacrifice aka
love), Lipstick under my Burkha (the gradual sexual awakening of an elderly woman and her Mills-and-Boons fantasies) and Netflix series Made in Heaven (where an episode is about a sexagenarian widow and an architect planning their wedding against the wishes of their children).
National Award-winning actor Neena Gupta, who portrayed the middle-aged housewife Priyamvada who gets pregnant and is being looked down upon by neighbours and relatives in Badhaai Ho, considers
I can’t ever discuss politics, inflation, property or children. Fashion, acting, glitz and glamour look cool to me. I don’t care about negative stereotyping. I am happy the way I look — sporting silver hair and a fit physique. What matters are health and happiness; nothing else
Badhaai Ho ageism a farce. “In India, a woman who turns 40 or 50 is considered good to only run the home, look after her husband, children and in-laws. She doesn’t enjoy herself, she falls ill, turns fat and is proud of it all – because she is an epitome of sacrifice aka tyagmurthy! Her dharm is to look after the family,” she observes.
Neena also notes that the situation in most of the Indian homes is similar, even if the woman is a homemaker or an employee. “Post-retirement, a woman who has been working as a teacher or an officer assumes the role of a tyagmurthy. As she grows older, she might witness her husband having an affair or her children neglecting her, but she can’t afford to bother. Without financial independence, these women can’t leave the home and those who ‘depend’ on her. The attitude too will be – why, after all these years of suffering – should I go now? And in most of the cases, there’s no question of sex. The women never take care of themselves while looking after everyone else; they would be tired and no longer attractive,” says the actress, who has been active in the industry for over three and a half decades.
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