‘No one really thinks that a boy who lost his brother also needs support’
It was July 6, 1999. A carefree 19-year-old was driving through the roads of Vasant Kunj. Karan Nayyar remembers thanking God in those moments for blessing him with a loving family: “I said, ‘Thank you for all you’ve given me for 19 years of my life. I won’t complain if I need to face hardships later in life. Little did I know that the next day, life would change forever.”
The family would receive a call in the early hours of July 7 that Karan’s older brother, Captain Anuj Nayyar, 23, had laid his life in the Kargil War. “I was a very pampered kid, and having seen no hardships, did not know how to cope with such a tragedy. I just went into a shell. I could never talk about my brother with anyone,” says Karan.
The loss of a loving elder brother’s protective shade had to leave Karan uprooted and lost. “He would not let anyone at home or school touch me. He would pick fights with anyone if they messed with me,” recalls Karan, adding, however, that Anuj was just as chilled out as he was protective: “I would often have a drink or two with him. I had my first cigarette with him. His philosophy was to not stop me from doing what I wanted to — experience life and take my own decisions, write my own story.”
The making of Anuj the soldier started on a volleyball court where he once stood up to his brother’s bully. “He started off as a very shy kid, loved by his parents but bullied by his peers. One day, when he was in the 10th grade, he was beaten up at the volleyball court by ten 12th-graders. That changed his perspective — he’d had enough and it was time to retaliate. He got hold of his friends and individually taught those 10 a lesson. Then on, he became very fearless and stood up for any wrong he saw around him. He respected women and had a great relationship with many girls, all based on friendship and respect. He was always challenging himself — running, exercising to get so strong that no one could touch him or his loved ones. He went on to become a fearless soldier so that no one could touch his country,” says the 44-year-old.
Anuj, monikered Tiger of Drass in military circles, referred to Karan as a ‘tiger’ in his last letter to him. That remains his most precious memory of his brother: “I still have that letter. I remember the last time he was with us; he met my girlfriend, who is now my wife. I am happy that he met my wife before he went to Kargil and knew the person I would spend my life with.”
What kind of support did he receive after his brother’s death? “Until 2016, my only support was family and friends. Many people came and supported my parents, but I guess no one really thinks a young boy who lost his brother, also needs support. Later, when we started writing my brother’s biography (Tiger of Drass), I got connected with Shivaditay Modi and the book’s writer, Himmat Singh Shekhawat — who has become a dear friend — and many of my brother’s friends from NDA, IMA and his unit. His best friend, Brigadier Ashok Thakur, is very close to me now,” says Karan, who now works for Oracle Corporation in the US.
On the 25th anniversary of the war, his thoughts are with the families of all those who died in the war: “The soldiers who fought fearlessly and the 527 who laid their lives for the nation. Then, I think about my personal loss — a brother I could have shared my entire life with. The tears that my mother still sheds and the grief that my father went through. It pains me to see hundreds of Indian soldiers still being martyred, hundreds of families still being destroyed. It pains me deeply.”