‘You think history will repeat itself by making your relationship history’

I have been dating this guy for a year and whenever he is out with me, he is more interested in the women around us. He doesn’t say it, but I can see it on his face. I’ve given him hints that I don’t like his behaviour, but nothing has changed. Please help. —RT

Aha! It’s called the ‘Other Plate Theory’, proposed by Portuguese Cateror Incencio Diaz, who found that when people went to a restaurant, certain types of individuals preferred food from the neighbour’s plate to their own plate. This individual’s interest was solely in the other person’s plate. Diaz eliminated this problem by removing all plates and cutlery from his restaurant and instead served all patrons food directly in their hands. The hot soups and frozen ice-creams, of course, thereby became more than a challenge. RT, your guy has the same issue. Except it’s with girls. Don’t give him hints, instead tell him about Diaz. Also tell him that if you are not his main focus, he’ll be stuck with empty plates on all sides.

I’m 25 years old, and have been in six relationships already. I don’t know if I’ve been unlucky, or if it was my fault that all the affairs ended soon. Now, a new guy has proposed to me; I, too, have feelings for him. Should I get into another relationship or wait till I figure out why my past affairs failed so soon? —LS

LS, don’t show off. Nobody likes a show off. You may have been in six relationships, but the world record is 13,754 relationships. So take that six isn’t even a drop in the ocean. Six is less than the GDP (Gross Domestic Product) of one of the Canary Islands. The second one from the left. Your problem is, you believe history will repeat itself by making your relationship history. My point is, who cares about the result? Think like an existentialist. You are born, and then you die. Same thing with relationships, Paytm accounts, and black shoes. Everything comes to an end eventually anyway. It’s only a question of when. So, should you enter the 7th Chamber of Shaolin? If you like the boy, then, yes!

About two months back, I started dating a guy after I proposed to him. We’ve been on six dates. But, strangely, he hasn’t initiated that we meet. It’s me all the time who wants to meet. It feels like he is not interested in meetings. I don’t know what’s wrong. How can I find out? —Neha Neha, you are probably right. He’s not too interested. Men, and sharks have similar problems. When a shark is turned on its back, it goes into a coma, and while in this coma turns both vegetarian and super helpful to other marine life. Men also, when at certain angles drifts into a coma. I suggest you shut down your factory. Initiate a strike. Tell all workers to go home indefinitely. Let him make a move. Let him, at least, call and ask what’s happening. Take a stand now, this minute. If he doesn’t initiate some activity, you know he’s never coming out of his coma, and you can move on.

I recently broke up with my girlfriend of three years. The problem is, she is very friendly with my parents and often visits my home to meet them. Seeing her brings back memories, and I’m unable to move on. My parents want me to start dating her again. What do I do? —Mahendra Mahendra, even though you’re only one half of an iconic name, I’ll try to give you my two bits, er plus, GST. Your parents like her. You are having trouble disconnecting with her. Which means you still have feelings. So the worry is, why did you guys break-up? Therein lies the answer to this conundrum. Could you get over that reason? Clearly, you are still drawn to her. So, if you can deal with that reason, then I suggest giving it another whirl. Another whirl….plus er GST.