Fix the aberration, before it becomes a trend
On Instagram, the seventhgrader threatens to have his teacher and her daughter raped. The eighth-grader emails two of his ‘very hot’ teachers and invites them to a ‘candle light date’ since “I feel like f***ing you right now.”
These kids are respectively 12 and 13-years-old. They study in a posh Gurugram school and it’s tempting to dismiss them as silly boys with raging hormones.
Yet, how do we ignore a rising graph — all involving young male perpetrators — that includes at its most extreme the murder of a seven-year-old student in another school allegedly by a senior student of the same school because he wanted the exams postponed? Or the 17-year-old who drives his family Mercedes and kills another man? Or the two teenagers who shoot to death an Uber driver?
It’s time we saw it, this sickness infecting our boys caused by a toxic combination of indulgent parents, schools obsessed with academic performance and the normalising of sex and violence by mass media.
Our kids are feeding on a diet of hatred and violence. Words like ‘rape’, ‘lynching’, ‘honour killing’ are now everyday terms that carry no sting. The objectification of women and what it is to be ‘masculine’ washes over our ads, our cinema and our politics. How do we expect young adults to be immune?
Over-protective parents are raising entitled children. In some cases, there is lack of supervision. In others, affluent parents cover up their sons’ misdemeanours. A relatively minor crime of physical violence today escalates into a hit-and-run tomorrow. In both cases, fathers with more money than morality will sort it out.
Schools eager to protect their ‘brand image’ can be complicit in the cover-up. The Gurugram school in question says ‘stern action’ has been taken but a spokesperson declined to get into details.
When children see their mothers disrespected at home, says a teacher who asked not to be named: “How do we counter this narrative in school? How do we tell them that their parents are wrong?”
If we are to take a cue from recent events, we need to start talking about values. We need to teach boys respect and consent and that violence even in words is not cool.
Young people are smart. In the US, high school students who survived a tragic shooting are demanding a ban on assault weapons from lawmakers. At home, we have seen the success of student-led campaigns to ban firecrackers and plastic and clean rivers.
The fault lies with us, the adults. We are failing our kids.
The point is not a knee-jerk reaction against a particular student. The point is to understand we have a problem. Unless we fix it, what might seem like an aberration now has all the potential to snowball into a full-blown trend. Namita Bhandare writes on social issues and gender The views expressed are personal