Actions speak LOUDER!
Gone are days of moping alone in a corner, women in India are now avenging their tears and want justice
You might be experiencing prewedding jitters also known as bridal nerves or cold feet that most brides or grooms have. This seems to be your fear of something that feels just not right. It could be your apprehensions about your own ability to be a wife or your fiancée’s to be a good husband or the event itself; sometimes it may be the finances or about the families involved or a fear of commitment.
Just because you are freaking out doesn’t mean your marriage will be a disaster or you need to call it off. When something is making you anxious you need to relax and understand where your anxiety is coming from. Identify the source of anxiety and take necessary action. Try pre-marital counselling for a better understanding. Good Luck! You seem to be comfortable within the hierarchy system where you either follow your seniors or lead your subordinates. This formula, however, doesn’t seem to be working in your interaction with your peers. Check if you just can’t seem to step out of your behavioural comfort zone. It is a blind spot that needs to be addressed.
Identifying your style of interaction with peers is the first step to bridge the gap. Are you a highly assertive person or a soft spoken person? Shift your interactive behaviour in a subtle yet influential way with either being less candid if your highly assertive or step up if you are too soft spoken to realise your true potential in clearing professional road blocks. — This query has been answered
by N Sucharita of Roshni Counselling Centre, Hyderabad.
(040-66661117/1118) There was a time when Indian women would silently weep on their pillows after a violent row with their husbands. But not anymore as they take on their abusive husbands head on, legally, and at times even driving them out of their hideouts. Intriguingly, they also seem to be doing better than a few of their western counterparts.
After the humiliating and painful episode that Nigella Lawson suffered at the hands of her husband for 10 years, Charles Saatchi, apparently she is yet to come to a conclusive decision of whether she wants to leave him or not. Another example is that of singers, Rihanna and her ‘now ex’, Chris Brown. Despite being beaten black and blue, coming out in the open about the atrocities she faced, Rihanna still allegedly went running back into Chris’ arms. Not to forget the late Whitney Houston’s 15 years of abusive marriage to Bobby Brown. On the other hand, one look at our Indian women and one realises that from Aishwarya Rai Bachchan to telly stars like Shweta Tiwari and Rucha Gujrati, they all had the guts and will power to walk out of their painful lives. “You can’t generalise between women abroad and those here. How one deals with the situation depends on their upbringing, support system and economic independence. They are aware of their legal rights and see no shame in going to the cops or exposing their men in public. An ex once slapped me and I immediately threw him out of my house and life,” says actress Pooja Bedi.
Former Miss World Yukta Mookhey filed a non-cognisable complaint of domestic violence against her husband, Prince Tuli late last year. “The abuser always manipulates the victim into believing that whatever happened to her was her fault. Moreover, a lot of women live in the fear of what would become of them should they walk out,” opines Yukta who is now living a ‘fearless’ life. “If you cannot stand up for yourself, there is no way anyone else can. As far as women with children are concerned, they need to understand, that if they want their kids to live an abuse free life, the children have to see their mother fight for herself and against the abuse,” she insists.
Another example of a courageous woman is the small screen actress, Shivani Gosain. She was married for all of two-and-half months, but that, she says was the worst period in her life. “That man (she refuses to even address her husband by his name) made my life a living nightmare. He would assault me physically and verbally in public. I had two options, either to die like this or live my life. I chose the latter,” she says. Shivani dragged him not just to the family court, but even to the criminal court. “I needed to teach him a lesson for ruining my life. After a year-and-a-half I managed to hunt him down,” she adds. The family court is granting Shivani the divorce in December, but the criminal case is still going on. “Growing up in India, where nothing comes easy, makes you stronger and tougher. I have been unable to get work because of my personal problems, however, I refuse to give up and be treated like this,” says the actress who is determined to get justice.