A single dad’s
ALITTLE boy sneaking sugared fruits while his father carefully prepares the ingredients for a delectably festive fruit cake.
“Don’t eat all of it, wait for the cake,” young dad, Byron Cavu told his threeyear-old early last week as they continued a family tradition going back to Byron’s own childhood.
“Our family always spent three or four days before Christmas making cakes together,” Byron shared.
“A way to bring the whole family together. Someone can mix, someone decorates, and someone does the ribbons for the packaging. You’ve got like fifteen people in the kitchen all working on something together.”
This is what Byron wants to pass down to his son, Troy: that Christmas is not about presents or outings but about being with loved ones.
“That’s what I want him to remember Christmas for: being with family and realising that no matter how your year has gone, your family will be there for you, all together to celebrate Christmas with you.”
Byron took on primary custody of his son a year ago but had always been a hands-on parent.
The relationship with Troy’s mother ended amicably. The pair agreed that she should focus on pursuing her education, while he was more than happy to fully embrace guiding “the journey Troy is on to becoming who he’s going to be.”
Byron left his day job in customer service and admin support and took on baking and catering work from home.
“I can always focus on making a career later. I’d rather sacrifice the early years of my life for my son than sacrificing our time together during his early years,” Byron said.
“I can always make money later. You can’t make up for time lost.”
“We spend most of our time outdoors together. He’ll play inside for a while in the morning while I get the housework done but then he’ll come to me and say he’s bored, so, then we’ll go outside or go to the park.”
Another tradition with the Cavu family is having an early Christmas lunch, the day prior, so Christmas Day can be spent relaxing and spending quality time together. This year, the extended family planned to head for the beach on Christmas Day.
“Troy is fascinated by sand,” Byron said.
“He can’t quite wrap his head around sand because he’s used to mud, always digging in the garden. Sand is such a foreign thing to him. So, he loves the beach.”
Intelligent and articulate, Troy is raised with the freedom to explore and learn through his play. He has a particular fondness for trucks.
Despite his father and grandparents’ best efforts, he’s a tad too smart for believing in Santa Claus. When handed his Christmas presents last year, he was told Santa brought them.
“No, this is from Nenen and this one is from you,” Troy told his dad, eager to open up the new Hot Wheels toy car sets, and best of all, a big aluminium dump truck from family and relatives.
This year’s festivities for the Cavu ‘boys’ began with the evening spent on the fruit cakes, with Troy getting flour and water all over the kitchen in his attempt to help his dad, and a proud Byron grateful for everything that led to this moment.
“To every single father, no matter what you’re going through, whatever is happening with your child’s mother or with your job, not understanding your situation, just take a moment this Christmas to stop, look at your children and appreciate what you do have.”
“There are so many people around the world who want but don’t have kids, people who want that happiness that you have. Just keep your head up and remember; no matter how your day went, there’s someone waiting at home excited for you to come back.”
“You get home and you’re someone’s hero again.”
For a child so loved by his father, how could the tale of Santa Claus ever compare to the Christmas magic his own dad weaves into every moment of the festive season. -
BULA Fiji! Thank you for taking time out to read Bula Vakasaama, a column dedicated to enlightening readers about practical strategies for optimal mental health and mind wellness.
Today’s topic is a reminder to myself and my dear readers that as we embark upon preparing that oftentimes ritualistic annual list of resolutions for the new year, remember to reflect upon your thoughts, words, and deeds these past few months and take responsibility for our choices.
The new year — 2024 — is upon us. Tomorrow we will welcome 2024 and hope that we see better times in our everyday existence.
Remember to include a prayer. A prayer to be an instrument for kindness, compassion, love, light, peace, courage, joy, and justice.
In every moment of the Creator’s miracle, ask to be an instrument to facilitate healing, empathy, health, wisdom, and soulfulness. Every moment in life’s cycle of learning, ask to be a student and a teacher.
In life’s daily tests, pray for lessons that uplift, inspire, and celebrate life. And pray that your thoughts, words, and deeds be in sync with the Creator’s master plan - the only plan that matters.
I am deeply grateful to you for taking time out of your precious life to read my columns and send me messages of encouragement and constructive feedback.
God bless you and your loved ones with optimal health and wellbeing and give you clarity, courage, wisdom, and guidance to remain steadfast in your faith in Him alone and to ride through the waves of the ocean of life with gratitude and prayer.
Life in this body is temporary. Your soul temporarily dwells in a body with sensory perceptions. This body reacts to those perceptions. In other words, your body is a bag of sensations motivating the Egoic self to succumb to unnecessary fears and want to control outcomes instead of flow with the Creator’s plans for you.
As much as possible, remain aware of this and aim to operate from your soulful self, not your egoic self.
One of the most crucial things to be mindful of every single day is our conscious and sometimes sub-conscious habit of complaining about life and forgetting to be grateful to God for all the daily blessings – blessings we take for granted, such as the running water and
the effortless ways in which we can turn the hot water whenever we please; the blessing of having electricity 24/7 to charge our gadgets and turn on the air con or fan or heater; the blessing of silence in the nighttime so we can sleep soundly without the frightening sounds of sirens or bombs; the peaceful twittering of birds at dawn; the provision of more than three full meals and multiple snacks each day to sustain our energies and fulfil our comfort-eating desires; the comfort and convenience of reaching out and actually hugging our loved ones whenever we feel like; the safety of practicing our religious practices without persecution, and many more blessings.
A humble reminder, then, for all of us…
As you live out your blessed moments today, if a thought or feeling of complaint crosses your mind, pause, and become self-aware that in this moment there are children, women, and men, in many nations that are in immense hardship and are in dire need of our prayers.
Turn whatever it is you are complaining about to a moment of realisation that God is keeping you safe and alive for a reason, for a greater purpose.
Spend your life in the way of the Divine and to serve with gratitude. A complaint is as good as a wasted breath.
Use your breath to utter gratitude and to say a prayer. Waste not your breath complaining
about petty issues of life. Rather lace your breath with beautiful words of prayers.
Reflective exercise Before New Year’s Eve, take some time to reflect on your past several months. Take a stock of your life and be gentle with yourself when you truthfully reflect on all the areas of your life – physical, mental, emotional, financial, career, relationships, and community.
Ask yourself these reflective questions;
❍ How was my day today?; ❍ How was my week? month?; ❍ How was 2023 for me?; ❍ What feelings are most strong in me today?;
❍ What events triggered these feelings?;
❍ Did I discover anything new about myself or anyone else these last few months?;
❍ Are there any unresolved issues in my life?
❍ Do I want to say something to someone but haven’t been able to?;
❍ Why? What is stopping me?;
❍ What do I fear?;
❍ What makes me happy? What gives me joy?; ❍ What or who hurts me?; ❍ What do I value in life?; ❍ What am I doing daily to remain true to my values?;
❍ How do I design my goals for 2024?; and
❍ What do I want to experience or accomplish in my physical self, emotional balance, relationships quality, spiritual goals, financial goals, community service, and selfcare?
Here’s a poem from my book The Soul Speaks. Happy and prosperous 2024 to one and all.
In the hope of new beginnings, today, pause with gratitude and reflect on your past one year.
Untangle all knots of regret obstructing your heart and celebrate your resilience.
Rejoice over your every little accomplishment ruminate on your healing and know that you are more than a mask, a squirt of sanitiser, a border closure, a lockdown, a diagnosis.
Know that you are not your experiences. You are the force that overcomes them. And so in the hope of new beginnings embrace the flow.
Exit the cycle of control. With love, kindness and gratitude. Enter the ascending spiral of alchemic surrender.
■ PRINCESS R LAKSHMAN is a counsellor, clinical nutritionist, writer, narrative therapist, and certified life-coach. She is passionate about mind wellness and an advocate for kindness and self-care. She lives in Sydney and will soon open mind wellness hubs in Fiji to provide free mental health counselling and workshops exclusively to Fiji residents. The views expressed are the author’s and do not necessarily reflect the views of this newspaper. She can be reached at info@princesslakshman.com