Ranking the French of the leadership candidates

One of Canada’s most glorious political traditions is that we serially force our politicians to answer questions and conduct debates in languages that they do not understand. This was on full display last night during the French-language Conservative leaders’ debate. We know you didn’t watch it (nobody did), so we took the liberty of grading the candidates’ French-language skills.

SCOTT AITCHISON

Aitchison speaks what would charitably be described as “Ottawa French.” His accent is clearly that of a man who learned the language in adulthood, and while he can fake it pretty well during prepared statements, he runs out of steam quickly when he has to think on his feet. Aitchison commands French at a level spoken by Stephen Harper when the latter took power in 2006: He can make himself understood to a French audience, but don’t expect any complex treatises on inflation and deficit spending.

PIERRE POILIEVRE

Poilievre’s name is as French-canadian as the Bonhomme de Carnaval. He also grew up in a Franco-albertan household. So the biggest surprise about his French skills is that they aren’t quite 100 per cent. To a Quebecer, Poilievre’s accent is clearly that of an anglophone, and he speaks a French that is basically a direct translation of what he says in English (he seems to “think in English,” in other words). So while Poilievre clearly gets an A in French proficiency, he can’t quite play with the language the way a Francophone would.

ROMAN BABER

Baber grew up speaking Russian and Hebrew, and after immigrating to Canada he learned English as a teenager by watching American sitcoms. So he can be forgiven if he hasn’t quite mastered his fourth language. Baber spent most of his time reading through prepared statements. Baber’s campaign mostly consists of decrying COVID mandates, so he had a good idea of what he was going to say.

PATRICK BROWN

Brown is one of those political science kids who has clearly fantasized about becoming prime minister since adolescence. These are the kinds of people who typically sleep with a Bescherelle so that they can confidently check the “bilingual” box on their CV once they start dabbling in student politics. So it’s surprising that Brown couldn’t really complete a statement without glancing at his notes, and spoke with a thick Anglo accent. That said, he was the only candidate aside from Poilievre and Charest who felt comfortable going on the attack in French.

LESLYN LEWIS

There’s one at every French-language national political debate: the candidate who clearly picked up their first French phrase book a few months ago, and whose performance is a slow-motion train wreck of struggling through prepackaged phrases. During federal leaders’ debates, this role was typically filled by former Green Party leader Elizabeth May, whose French catchphrase was a regular mantra of “pas vrai!” (“not true!”). And in the current Tory leadership contest, it’s Lewis.

JEAN CHAREST

You can’t be Quebec premier for nine years without speaking perfect French, but Charest is notable for being one of the most flawlessly bilingual figures in modern Canadian politics. He speaks French like an educated Quebecer, complete with all the subtle shibboleths and Quebec-specific tics that would be out of reach even for a European Francophone. He can then speak English well enough to pass as an anglophone. This is distinct from Prime Minister Justin Trudeau who speaks a kind of weird anglo-inflected, rich kid French. And Pierre Trudeau’s French was even weirder; he spoke an affected academic French that sort of made him sound like a Francophone William F. Buckley.