Essex councillor pushing for daycare assistance

An Essex town councillor who is also the mother of three young children is advocating that daycare be provided at annual conferences of the Association of Municipalities of Ontario, but she’s finding some resistance in her own backyard. Sherry Bondy brought forth a motion at the Feb. 20 Essex town council meeting that requests that AMO and the Federation of Canadian Municipalities provide userpay daycare for attendees of their annual conferences.

“So that people with children, not just women, so that people with children can go to conferences and have equal opportunities,”

said Bondy.

The Federation of Canadian Municipalities, which has its annual conference in Halifax at the end of May, already provides daycare for attendees. Essex council voted unanimously in favour of the request, but Lakeshore council had a tied 4-4 vote on March 20, so the motion did not pass. Lakeshore Mayor and County Warden Tom Bain voted against the request, noting he attended many municipal conferences with two young children who were taken care of by his wife.

For now, the family is comforted by the memories of the man they knew best.

Matthew grew up in Essex along with his brother. They both attended Sun Parlour School, Maplewood Public School and Essex District High School.

Michael, who is 18 months older, said his brother was “brilliant” as a youth and could fix anything mechanical or electronic.

The brothers were in Boy Scouts, where Matthew strived to earn the Chief Scout award. It took four years, based on community service and helping other people. “That’s who Matt was,” his brother said. Matthew switched to Riverside High School for his final school year, then attended post-secondary school in Winnipeg before taking a job at a cookie factory where his mechanical skills were instrumental in keeping machines operable. He also worked stints in construction out west with his father. But his illness — which first started to emerge as a teen with lengthy spells of depression and sleepless nights — “got worse over time,” his brother said. Matthew returned to Windsor and received a lot of care from the right people for schizophrenia related issues. He worked with social workers, physicians and also spent time in the hospital, his brother said.

“There were hundreds of times where good people tried to help Matt,” said Michael, who has largely resided in Toronto since 2007. “Friends, family, social workers — and it’s important to mention how so many police officers showed him patience and understanding through the years. They did that even though those were very scary interactions for him.” But ultimately it was Matthew’s choice as an adult to properly stay on his medications or consent to being hospitalized during his darkest times.

“Hospital memories haunted him and everything he did was to avoid going back,” Michael said. “Medicines were scary for him, too, because they took away his feelings and he didn’t like being like a zombie where you can’t be happy or sad. He couldn’t be himself.” A network of family and friends often spoke with Matt, but despite frequent contact he often felt alone and unlikable due to his illness. “There was never a normal day,” said Michael. “Every day was different for him and every morning was struggle. Simple things were a lot harder and more stressful. When you have an illness like that, you don’t know what’s real and things become very confusing. “He was always scared people didn’t like him, but that couldn’t be farther from the truth. He had friends and family always around him — but his reality was different.” Still, the heart of gold never disappeared, Michael said. “Even in the dark times when I would talk to him on the phone, he would say there was a person downtown that he had to go talk with and help them,” the brother said. “He would have nothing to eat except a sandwich and would split it with someone else who needed to eat.” Despite his illness, Matthew did everything within his power to provide for himself in life, his mother said.

She detailed his latest attempt in creating a hydroponic water system to grow strawberries and green peppers in his Erie Street apartment where he resided the past three years. Matthew hated relying on disability and tried everything possible to earn his own way, the family said. He delivered the Windsor Star. He delivered pizza. He taught himself computer programming because he thought that was something he could do alone at home, his brother said.

“He just wanted to find a way to take care of himself — and also help other people, too,” Michael said. “He refused to let anybody help pay his debts since they were his responsibility. He would say, ‘I have to pay’ even if he had no food,” Michael said.

“He was easy to love, always had a smile and that grin. He was magnetic and everybody always wanted to be his friend. A lot of people knew he struggled, but accepted him exactly the way he was.”