CAROLINE’S GIFT
In her memory, family continues to help young women fighting cancer at Christmas
Caroline Prinsen had countless friends, a joyful career, a tight-knit relationship with her family, and traveled extensively around the world. The local woman enjoyed a life well-lived, one full of laughter, kindness and hope. d She was only 25 years old when she lost her battle to cancer on Feb. 9, 2015. d Between her diagnosis and passing, Prinsen “made it her goal to find ongoing financial assistance for women between the ages of 18 to 30, a demographic she found didn’t get much help,” explains her sister, Sharon Parish. d “She met so many people through an online support group, and she discovered that when you’re past treatment, your assistance dries up,” Parish says. “And when your diagnosis is terminal, there (seems) to be little or no help. More than for herself, Caroline wanted to make things better for women with cancer, however she could.” d This is Prinsen’s story, as told to Anna Cabrera Cristofaro by Parish.
The fear of the empty chair can be crippling, especially through the Christmas season; the empty chair often reminds us of how great our loss is, how deep our grief, and how much we miss the person who once filled it.
We’re the Prinsen family, and we’re from Cottam.
It was the fall of 2015, and here we were, dealing with an empty chair, wondering how we could face Christmas. It seemed as though it would never be the same again.
Caroline Rochelle Prinsen was born on Aug. 20, 1989, a blondhaired beauty to parents John and Estelle. She had four older sisters: Amy, Sharon, Steph and Jackie.
Often doted on because she was always “the baby,” Caroline grew up constantly smiling, learning from everyone around her. Many would say she was an old soul, wise beyond her years.
Her favourite time of year was Christmas. She even adopted the Christmas birthstone as hers – she felt it suited her better.
Graceful and loving, she gave her affection to cats and buried herself in books and movies, especially the classics. Throughout the year, you could pop your head into her room and find her watching White Christmas, which was one of her absolute favourites. Christmas songs frequently blared from her car radio and bedroom, even in the heat of summer.
As soon as she was allowed, our parents’ house, where she lived, would be decorated from top to bottom, announcing to all guests that Christmas was just around the corner.
Through the years, Caroline developed her own set of goals. She wanted to travel most of all.
For a few years in early adulthood, she did just that, cruising and touring through Canada, the United States, Europe and Central America with family and friends.
On a trip to Cuba with me, her brother-in-law Ken, and a few other close friends, she’d whipped out some books to read at the beach, one of which was The Unlikely Romance of Kate Bjorkman, by author Louise Plummer. It’s a teenage love story that puts you right into the Christmas season whenever or wherever you might read it, whether it’s on a sunny beach in Cuba or in a hotel room in Germany.
She so loved the nostalgia of this book that it inspired her to give a copy to all of her co-workers at their Christmas party in 2013.
Although travel was important to Caroline, her family and friends always came first. Time was always a gift to her. She carefully fostered relationships and shared her joy for life with everyone around her. She sought out friends she hadn’t seen her for a while, just to make sure that those connections were kept alive. She loved dancing with friends, watching movies, and enjoying nice meals out.
To say that she was well-loved would be an understatement.
In the beginning of 2013, at the age of 23, Caroline felt a lump in her left breast. Immediately, she sought out the advice of a doctor. She was reassured that she was young, and that it was likely nothing to worry about, but was told they would run tests just to be sure. On March 11, after a mammogram, ultrasound and biopsy, Caroline was dealt the biggest blow of her life. She had invasive ductal carcinoma.
Caroline was shocked. Our whole family was devastated.
She knew she was in for quite the battle, and she was determined to beat it. Ever the nurturer, she set her sights on making sure that her family and friends would be okay, and developed a treatment plan. In the meantime, we set into motion a fundraiser to make sure that money would be the least of her worries while was going through treatment.
On April 8, 2013, Caroline had a double mastectomy. A few weeks later, she started chemo.
Through eight rounds of chemotherapy, despite being terribly sick, she kept smiling. She worried most about how everyone else was doing, so for them, she kept her spirits up and pressed on.
When her chemo was complete, she began the first of 25 painful radiation treatments. She became active in online support groups, reaching out to young women worldwide to connect and share resources.
She discovered that there were a lot of women in her demographic who needed assistance but couldn’t find it. She felt strongly that there needed to be more support for young women dealing with cancer.
Caroline’s dreams began changing. She spoke about going back to school so she could enter the medical field and open a non-profit store to sell treatment aids for cancer patients. She had personally found relief from many items she discovered through her discussions in online support groups, and hoped to make them easier to attain locally.
In November 2013, her treatment plan was complete. She made it, with no signs of cancer in her system. She knew she was going to be ok.
She decided to make the most of every minute she had now, continuing to be active in support groups, forming close relationships with many women her age. She was excited to be heading back to work in 2014.
In early December of 2013, Caroline popped in for an impromptu visit to my house, which was not unusual. However, what was unusual was that she sad.
She told me of a woman in her group who had four small children. This woman’s finances were tapped out from not working while she was going through treatment, but the news was even more sombre – this woman had only a couple of months to live.
Caroline was distraught. She was more upset with this woman’s diagnosis than she had been about her own. She was also exceedingly upset about the fact that this woman would be sharing her last Christmas with her kids.
Caroline wanted to give the remainder of the money that was raised for her to this family. “Do it,” I encouraged her. It was all she needed to hear. Making this woman’s last Christmas special was worth having no money for herself. It would make Caroline’s Christmas as good as it could possibly be.
On November 17, 2014, after a year of working, traveling, and spending as much time with family and friends as possible, Caroline was told that her cancer was back. This time, it was in her liver. She was given three months to live.
Caroline passed away on February 9, 2015, at the age of 25.
It’s our third Christmas facing that empty chair. In her memory, we continue to help young women fighting cancer have a blessed Christmas season.
We can’t take away someone’s cancer diagnosis, but we can try to fill the soon-to-be-empty chairs with wonderful memories from funds raised, so we can continue Caroline’s Christmas gift.