Grieving process upended by lack of goodbyes, delayed funerals

Victim Services of Waterloo Region offering remote assistance for those experiencing loss or trauma

WATERLOO — Victim Services of Waterloo Region has moved to a remote service model during a time when its executive director says the grieving process has been completely upended. With COVID-19 protocols keeping some from saying their goodbyes before a loved one’s death, and others from carrying out funeral services, Bruce Moffat says people are struggling to process and heal from the sudden loss of friends and family.

The not-for profit agency, funded through the Ministry of the Attorney General, provides early intervention, on-scene or over-the-phone support, and additional programming for high-risk victims and victims of violent crime.

This can include enhanced safety measures, funding for counselling, accommodation, relocation assistance, emergency cellphones and basic necessities.

Moffat said its most common calls arise from domestic violence and tragic circumstances such as sudden death, suicide or fires.

Since mid-March, the service has halted all its in-person support, a move that comes with various challenges as staff and volunteers attempt to help victims make sense of their situation from afar.

“We’re still seeing an influx in calls as this pandemic continues on,” he said. “We’re seeing referrals increase, a regular 15minute phone call is taking upwards of 45 minutes to an hour, and some complex cases are coming in.”

Moffat said sudden deaths are where they are seeing the biggest increase in time spent on calls. Many of the clients are off their regular day-to-day routine, he said, with some working from home and others either laid off or temporarily not working.

These people are looking for outlets, he said, now more than ever.

“The supports that we are able to provide our clients and their families on a daily basis to address the physical and emotional trauma they have faced is critical,” said Ashley Hendricks, a crisis response co-ordinator with the service.

“Especially during COVID-19, when stressors are already heightened.”

Before COVID-19, a victim services team would respond on-scene, helping support people in the immediate aftermath of their loss or trauma.

Under the current self-isolation orders, that’s no longer possible.

“The whole grief and bereavement process has changed where people can’t even go see their loved ones in hospitals or long-term care homes before or after end of life, and that’s adding to the grief and then trauma they are experiencing,” said Moffat.

When staff are with their clients after a tragic event, they can often go long periods without speaking a word, showing their support by presence alone.

“It’s not the same when you’re over the phone and you’re hearing that silence,” said Moffat. “It’s tough to read somebody, and it’s just not the same.”

Zoom video calls are now being offered to try and bring more of a physical connection, he said, and grief packages are still offered with curbside pickup.

But while many industries are seeing virtual services as a potential future, Moffat said the in-person connection is something that will need to continue in a post-COVID-19 world.

“We are doing everything we can to try and recreate that support, but I don’t see us moving away from the on-scene support because of the benefit it does provide to people in times of crisis and trauma.”

Moffat works with agencies across the region, and said they’re all in similar circumstances: either bracing for more calls, or already dealing with the increase.

“We want people to know that we are here for them, and if they can, we want them to reach out for support.”

The office can be reached at 519-585-2363 Monday to Friday. For after-hours calls, victim services can be reached at 519-570-5143.