PRESCRIPTION FOR FULFILMENT
Dr. Ruth on getting the most out of life
At 89 years of age, Dr. Ruth, known for her wise counsel on all matters of the heart, credits her good health and sharp mind to joie de vivre. In a recent interview, the famous sex therapist shared her secrets to a long and healthy life. She considers herself to be very fortunate, narrowly escaping death from the Holocaust, was raised in an orphanage in Switzerland and was a sniper in Israel’s War of Independence. She immigrated to America after spending years studying as a student in Paris and has spent her life combining her intellect and emotional spark to change the way we think about life and love.
Her advice on living life to the fullest starts with getting a good night’s sleep. She doesn’t take any calls before 10 a.m. She keeps very busy, is out six nights a week, has lots of friends, teaches at Columbia University and continues publishing books.
Dr. Ruth has a great sense of humour. She stands 4-foot7. When taking her grandchildren to an amusement park, she wasn’t allowed on the rides because she didn’t meet the height requirements. Her height has never stood in her way to embrace all of life’s pleasures. According to the Talmud, “a lesson taught with humour is a lesson retained.” Know your limitations. She doesn’t drive anymore, although she has never had a car accident, but she believes her reaction time isn’t safe anymore for other drivers.
As she looks ahead to becoming a nonagenarian, she believes that adults should take personal responsibility to prepare for their retirement and for unexpected health-related costs. While some may think that it’s government’s responsibility to take care of senior citizens or their children’s responsibility, there are no guarantees that either will be there when needed. There is no question that people have to save. Expecting one’s kids to take care of them are mistakes as those children will have children of their own and will not have the time to care for their parents. Her advice is saving for eventualities is the only safe way to prepare for the future.
Dr. Ruth has diabetes. As a result, she has become more careful not to skip meals and drinks beverages low in sugar. Given the often grave realities of someone in their 90s surviving falls, she is very conscientious about not falling and is very careful where and when she walks.
Positivity impacts on attitude. At age 10 when she was separated from her family and sent to a children’s home in Switzerland that became an orphanage, she learned that her family had been murdered in the Holocaust, and travelled to Palestine where she became a sniper for the Israeli Defense Forces and was badly wounded. She was fortunate to be treated by excellent doctors. Throughout her adult life she was an excellent skier but has given it up for safety reasons. However, she continues dancing and wishes the music never stops.
Having a hobby gives you a reason to get out of bed in the morning. It makes a real difference. She has dollhouses that have a reason in her life as she has control over the families that live in those dollhouses. She didn’t have control over her own life when the Nazis took her parents and her grandparents and killed them. Her other hobby is to collect turtles. Turtles have to take risks — when they stick their necks out they can get hurt. But without taking a risk they don’t move at all. She has a whole collection of stuffedanimal turtles. She wrote a book about a turtle that learned to stick its neck out. She knows from a lifetime of risk and reward that life is that much richer when you take calculated risks.
She is involved in many charities and enjoys going to public events, where people she admires often come up to her and want to meet her. She told me, “It’s very nice to be Dr. Ruth.” She sits on several boards and has a personal mantra that it is an obligation to stand up and be counted, especially in today’s world.
Maintaining motivation in old age is critical as many seniors live a life of isolation with losses in their sensory perception and are less mobile with challenges accessing transportation. Older adults may have fewer friends, as they have outlived most of them and their family may not live nearby. Her answer to loneliness is to ensure seniors do activities, yoga, dancing, discussion groups and book clubs. Having a program every single day that they can go to gives hope for tomorrow.
In her book, Sex over 50: Revving Up the Romance, Passion & Excitement, she reminds us that old people need to caress and be caressed, while sexual functioning may be changing, older people need a person that they can rely on and to be realistic of what to expect. Seniors continue to have the same needs as younger people and having a partner to be active with adds years to life. In nursing homes there should be rooms with a do-not-disturb sign outside to allow hugging and kissing, and watch TV together. The families of older people must realize that their single parent can form new relationships. While there may a sexual revolution as the baby boomers become seniors, she doubts there will be a need for geriatric obstetricians.
Her advice on overcoming personal fears of aging and loss in old age is that if you’re hoping to live long, make the world a better place for seniors. Start by getting to know the older people in your life better, show them respect and regard them favourably.
No doubt that Dr. Ruth’s greatest legacy will be teaching people to live a life full of joie de vivre.
Having a hobby gives you a reason to get out of bed in the morning. She has dollhouses that have a reason in her life as she has control over the families that live in those dollhouses.