Bieber’s new collection can’t make Leafs cool
Thousands of fully vaxxed fans are returning to Scotiabank Arena this month to cheer on the Toronto Maple Leafs. But Auston Matthews, Mitch Marner and (we hope) a fully vaccinated William Nylander will have a secret weapon on their side when they face the Montreal Canadiens in the preseason on Saturday: socks courtesy of Justin Bieber.
This week the Stratfordraised pop star revealed a “limited collection” collaboration between his personal fashion brand drew house (Bieber’s middle name is Drew) and his favourite hockey team: the Leafs.
“If you know me you know that I’m on cloud 9,” Bieber wrote on Instagram earlier this week. “I grew up idolizing the Toronto Maple Leafs so for me to collaborate on this limited collection is wow no words.”
Or one word: expensive. OK, maybe five words: expensive and kind of ugly. Picture the bright yellow “Drew” logo superimposed on socks and shirts that resemble the Maple Leafs uniform: shirts that will put you out several hundred dollars, not to mention a miniature Leafs mascot teddy bear (a.k.a. Carlton) listed for a cool $78. And not to be outdone by bright blue sweatpants emblazoned with Carlton’s image for $238.
The promo video for the new line features Matthews and Marner opening Bieber drew house swag bags in the locker room and feigning excitement at the wares within, in a way that only hockey players can (“Woooo,” “that’s pretty nasty though,” “attaboy Biebs”).
Meanwhile, fans interested in the merchandise might not even get their hands on it. It turns out you can’t currently go to the brand’s website and buy a wildly expensive pair of sweats outright. You have to enter a draw. From the website: “inventory is extremely limited and access to the draw below doesn’t guarantee the opportunity to purchase products.” In other words, this is exclusive and cool and you’re lucky if you get anything out of it.
It seems Justin Bieber is trying to be for the Leafs what Drake is for the Toronto Raptors: not only a celebrity cheerleader for the home team but an elevator of its brand.
The problem with this idea and I say this as a pathetically loyal Leafs fan is that, unlike the Raptors, the Leafs are not cool. Indeed, they are painfully uncool. This isn’t an opinion. It is a fact as true as their untimely exit from every playoff series in recent memory.
The Raptors are cool because in addition to actually winning big time in recent memory, they have Lilly Singh and the heart of the city in their stands. The Leafs have Dart Guy and rich uncles with corporate expense accounts.
Again, I love the Leafs fiercely, but they aren’t cool. And they are even less cool hocking sweat socks.
Why do I care? What’s it to me — a 32-year-old mom who wears pyjamas to work — if some teenagers want to buy a pair of $200 sweatpants? Because I want the Leafs to win. And I sense something foreboding about this Justin Bieber collaboration. I sense something foreboding about Justin Bieber, period.
It was easier to get on board with Drake’s cheesy boasting about T.O. and the Raptors, because the Raps actually did it. They won a championship. They made Toronto proud. And Drake’s annoying sideline antics were forgivable in the face of that. When it came to the Raptors, the performance warranted the swagger. But the same cannot be said about the Leafs. As a result, this celebrity collaboration feels ill-fated.
Maybe I’m being superstitious and needlessly harsh toward Bieber who is, at the end of the day, another pathetically loyal Leafs fan. But all I see when I look at his garish gear is Auston Matthews decked out in it, sulking at a press conference in June, fresh off a Game 7 loss. Put the swag bag away Auston. Far, far away.