Alexa, have some self-respect and demand manners

We are in a global pandemic. We have been for a year. Children are home … many with their selfless parents who might as well join a circus for the amount of juggling they’ve had to do this year.

Working parents especially have been somewhat ignored in the narrative of those being traumatized by this pandemic. I have seen many changes. Changes in my children. I am a working mother of two young boys, 4 and 6, and — I swear — before the pandemic, they had manners.

As I threw the baton to my husband to take over the kids’ “online” learning for that given time while I tried to get my work done upstairs on what used to be my dining room table — now my work space — I heard a peculiar exchange and have figured out why my kids have somewhat lost their manners. It is not their fault — and no, it’s not the fault of the pandemic either.

It’s Alexa’s fault.

Here is how the exchange went:

Rio: Alexa, play the “Into the Spider-Verse” song.

Alexa: Playing “Into the SpiderVerse” song by Amazon music.

(Then of course, the song is too long and their focus is lost)

Rolan: Alexa, play funny fart sounds.

Alexa: Playing funny fart sounds by Amazon music.

And so the day continued. It didn’t bother me that my two boys were asking Alexa do something, it was that they were demanding her to something!

My maternal feminist alarms went off. Not only does Alexa immediately obey their every command, but also she does not even ask for the “magic word!” There are no please and thank yous necessary for our young children to get what they want these days.

Of course, when you are in person, pre-pandemic, you would be mortified as a parent if you suddenly went to a friend’s house for dinner and your kids suddenly start demanding the host for things. Here would be the exchange.

Maria: Get me a juice box. Maria: I need a snack.

And I won’t even get started on Google; it is the same thing, although calling out “Hey, Google,” is more androgynous; the voice obeying is still female.

So, parents out there, I’ve made a few changes in my household. I am now the one doing the demanding and I’m demanding that my children say please and thank you when making their requests for fart sounds and Spider-Man songs!

I know that the effects of this pandemic will be studied for years to come and I guess because we have all been home more we are all relying on entertainment from these Silicon Valley devices. But, I would have to say, shame on you Mr. Bezos and the folks at Google; if it’s one principle that is universal among all parents, it is the importance of manners. I would hate to see Alexa and Google destroy the “magic word.”

“Alexa, please have some self-respect and demand manners.”