Young Hollywood brings the drama, tears and heartbreak

The show: Famous in Love, Season 1, Episode 5 The moment: The birthday pout Poor Paige (Bella Thorne). The major motion picture she’s starring in is ruining her 21st birthday. She pads into her kitchen, where her faithful roomie Cassie (Georgie Flores) makes pancakes for her.

“Oof, you look like . . .” begins Jake (Charlie DePew), their other roomie, a fledgling screenwriter.

“I was up all night finishing my college paper,” Paige pouts.

“Get ready for bottomless margaritas at Los Amigos!” Jake crows.

“About that,” Paige says, with booboo eyes. “I have to cancel. The film is making me do dance rehearsals at Rainer’s tonight.”

“You have rehearsals on your birthday?” Jake says, skeptically. “Jake, it’s work,” Paige says. “Rainer’s just trying to get into your pants,” Jake says.

“Excuse me?” Paige asks. “Ten minutes ago you were rolling around with Alexis the blow-up doll in Palm Springs.”

“Happy birthday, Paige,” Jake says bitterly. He stalks off.

I stumbled on this series by accident, and am now fascinated. Never have I seen so many pretty people, living such incongruously glamourous lives, look so miserable.

Paige’s director is such a meanie to her when she doesn’t know her lines! Her pop-star friend is sad when her mother-manager doesn’t support her singing new material on Conan! Cassie is shocked when the men who pay her to clean their houses topless act like pigs!

Watching this makes me feel so relieved that I’m not a gorgeous 21-year-old plucked from obscurity to star in a $20-million blockbuster. The glycerin budget for all their glistening tears must be insane. Famous in Love airs Tuesdays at 9 p.m. on Bravo. Johanna Schneller is a media connoisseur who zeroes in on popculture moments. She usually appears Monday through Thursday.