The Trump who wanted to stop impeachment

Every American down in America liked their democracy a lot. But the Trump, who lived in the White House — did not. The Trump hated democracy, the whole thing. Now, please don’t ask why; no one quite knows the reason. It could be, perhaps, he had visions of treason. Or it could be that his head wasn’t screwed on just right. Or maybe that his shoes were too tight.

But I think that the most likely reason of all... may have been that his heart was two sizes too small.

But, whatever the reason, his heart or his clothes, he stood there on Impeachment Eve hating his foes. Staring down from his cave, with a sour Trumpy frown, at the bright lighted windows below in the town. For he knew that every American down in America beneath was busy now, hanging signs and having rallies and getting ready for the vote.

The Trump said: “I must stop this whole thing! Why, for years I’ve put up with it now. I must stop impeachment from coming... but how?”

And then the Trump got an idea. A nasty idea. A wonderfully nasty, wicked idea. “I’ll discredit them!” he said. “I’ll call them enemies and repeat it! Sooner or later the people will eat it!” So he went on a rampage, calling everyone bad. He did it even when people got sad. “I know,” chuckled he. “They’re finding out now that no vote is coming! They’re just waking up, I know just what they’ll do.

Their mouths will hang open a minute or two, then the Do-nothing Dems down in the House will all cry, ‘Boo hoo.’”

Then the day came — and the Trump realized — it’s already here! He hadn’t stopped the vote and it was more than he could bear.

He puzzled and puzzled till his puzzler was sore. Then the Trump thought of something he thought of many times before.

It’s a coup, he thought, with a deafening roar. And I’ll keep claiming that till I’m here no more.

But I think that the most likely reason of all... may have been that his heart was two sizes too small.

Jacklyn Adams Paradise