Sad grandma should focus on grandson

Dear Annie: I’m the proud grandma of two: a young lady of 17 and a 14-year-old Eagle Scout.

The problem is my Lauren Bacall voice. (A nun in the fifth grade nicknamed me “Foghorn.”) My granddaughter deliberately goes out of her way to ignore her grandfather and me because she is embarrassed by how I sound. It doesn’t bother my grandson at all, but my granddaughter has avoided me since age 5. No kisses, no hugs, no affection at all.

She just graduated from high school. My heart aches, and I cry every day knowing she will continue to hate me. I have always been good to her. I never say no when she asks for something, right up to paying for her 18th birthday gift to parachute for the first time.

A Loving and Lonely Grandma

Dear Grandma: Grandchildren generally are very accepting of their grandparents’ voices, features, habits, etc. We know that some children are acutely embarrassed by any variation of the norm. But even if your voice is grating to her, by the age of 18, your granddaughter should have developed the maturity and tolerance to consider it unimportant compared to her relationship with you.

We hope she will learn to value the love you offer, but in the meantime, please accept her limitations and focus your affection on your grandson. Also, if you haven’t had a doctor check your throat, we hope you will. Sometimes, these vocal issues have medical causes that go undiagnosed for years.

Dear Annie: I had to respond to “Venting in Oregon,” who complained about the neighbours’ noisy children. My husband and I, while sitting on our front porch, recently complained that our street is too quiet.

When we moved here 25 years ago, the street was filled with children, ours included. We enjoyed watching boys racing gokarts down the street and children dashing back and forth to one another’s homes. Last year, a garage band around the block blasted their music for an hour in the afternoon each weekday. It was great.

Now it feels like a ghost town. All of our children grew up and moved away, and we are still here. We miss the lively commotion that makes for a family neighbourhood. We don’t like all this peace and quiet. Connecticut

Annie’s Mailbox is written by Kathy Mitchell and Marcy Sugar, longtime editors of the Ann Landers column.