You can’t prevent ex-lover from contacting in-laws

Husband’s high school sweetheart could benefit from some therapy

Dear Annie: My husband’s high school sweetheart (from 30 years ago) refuses to let go of the past and move on. “Donna” tried to get my husband to cheat on his first wife, and he declined. She also tried to get him to have a fling with her while we were dating, and again, he refused her advances.

Donna continues to maintain contact with my husband’s siblings and his mother on Facebook by “liking” their photos and such, but has blocked both of us from seeing any of her interactions with them.

My husband would like her to respect his space and leave his family alone. I don’t think she meets the definition of a stalker. She’s just annoying. How can we get her to move into the present and let go of that part of her past that included my husband’s family? -- Time to Move On Dear Time: It sounds like this is beyond your control. If Donna wants to have contact with your in-laws, it is up to them to decide whether or not to comply. It is not your decision, so please stop tormenting yourself. They can block her if they choose, and you can ask them to do so, but it’s up to them.

If Donna is calling your house, phoning your husband at work, sending constant emails or otherwise harassing you or your in-laws, that would put her in the category of “stalker.” If she is simply a thorn in your side because she refuses to let go, we feel sorry for her. What a disappointment her life must be for her to cling so tenaciously to a past that didn’t work out. Your in-laws would be doing her a favor to recommend that she get some therapy so she can have a better life. Dear Annie: I would like to comment about the letter from “Thigh High in Confusion,” who has a problem with her boyfriend wearing thigh-high stockings.

Some guys (like me) have varicose veins. My doctor told me to wear hose that support my health issues and always asks if I’m wearing them when I see him. There are companies that specialize in such hosiery. My wife is an RN and she supports my wearing the hose, even openly with shorts in the summer.

I do not make a point to tell anyone unless asked. And the truth is, most people nowadays couldn’t care less unless you make a point to be noticed. Those hose are especially helpful if you stand on concrete or any kind of flooring for long shifts, like I do. Why can’t men be comfortable at their jobs or anywhere else?

Man Who Wears Hose for a Reason Dear Man: We heard from plenty of men who use women’s stockings or their equivalent for health reasons. The woman who wrote, however, made it clear that her boyfriend derives sexual satisfaction from wearing them, and this puts him in a different category. She needs to decide what she can accept before the relationship progresses further.