‘Concern’ for fat family member no excuse to be rude

Dear Annie. A young female member of my family has gotten fat, and I asked her the reason for the change. Now she won’t speak to me. Everyone says I made a mistake, because no one should ever ask a woman why she is obese. I care about this young woman, and that is why I put the question to her I don’t want her to grow as big as another member of my family, that’s all. — Concerned Old Man in West Hills

Dear Concerned: It is rude to ask anyone why they are fat (or skinny, short, tall, old or any number of intrusive personal questions). What exactly do you expect them to say? You may have meant well, but your approach was insensitive. People who are obese are quite aware of the fact. We suggest you apologize and say you are simply worried about her. Then change the subject.

Dear Annie: I totally agree with “Just One More Day,” whose family members have all died, and she finds it difficult to listen to co-workers gripe about their relatives.

My mother and three sisters have passed away, and I am only 36. I treasure my time with my 82-year-old dad and my only brother. Families need to stop holding grudges. — Nicole in Pennsylvania

Annie’s Mailbox is written by Kathy Mitchell and Marcy Sugar, longtime editors of the Ann Landers column. Please email your questions to anniesmailbox@comcast.net, or write to Annie’s Mailbox, c/o Creators Syndicate, 737 3rd Street, Hermosa Beach, CA

90254.