Get rid of ex-husband as quickly as possible

Q: My husband left our home in 2009, and never came back. He had been cheating with our neighbour two doors away. I found out about her a month after he left. He’d lied, saying he just wasn’t happy, comfortable or content. She’s years younger than him and has a young son. Her previous marriage, with a man who’d left his wife and kids for her, had fallen apart because her husband was cheating. My husband stopped putting money into our joint account in 2011. I work part-time and had to consult a lawyer. He stopped all communication with his mother and has also had no communication at all for six years with our adult sons. He’s never seen his three-year-old grandson.

I wrote his lawyer two letters asking for my ex to divorce me. I get no response. He started this and got what he wanted, yet won’t move forward with a divorce.

I haven’t met anyone and I want to close the door on my marriage. I despise this man and have no feelings for him. He’s a coward and I believe he was also cheating with other women during our marriage.

I struggle with having to divorce him because I didn’t want this, don’t want to pay for it, and feel like I’m making the final cut easy for him.

A: After the hell you’ve been through, this is the wrong battle to stay and fight. Just get rid of the guy’s presence. You’re lucky to be on your own rather than with a husband and father who could be so deceitful and cold.

Find the cheapest legal way to get the divorce and go for it.

All the while that you delay, talk to his lawyer and get agitated about what he did then and now, your ex is still directing a drama with you in it.

A final act of indifference on your part will shut him down sooner than your contempt.

And divorce will free your mind.