Woman wanting boyfriend’s time a predator

My boyfriend of three years and I are mutually attentive and kind, and have highly active social and sexual lives together.

His ex-co-worker/friend moved to our city last year. He’d meet her for dinner or coffee monthly, because she was “new” here. I had no problems with this.

He showed me some of her texts and they appear flirty — how cute he looks, how she wishes her dates were like him.

I suggested we all meet for dinner. She refused (through him), saying she’d feel uncomfortable. I told him that this didn’t feel appropriate, and I wanted him to be more on guard with her. He understood, and hasn’t seen her since. But she still sends him many texts, selfies, requests for help (her dog feels sick), etc.

She even appeared at an industry event on her own to seek him out. He had a stern talk with her about how her actions are making me feel uncomfortable, but she still constantly communicates with him. Is it reasonable for me to ask him to stop responding? I’m not a possessive person naturally. Red Flags

A She’s behaving like a predator, having ignored your discomfort and his, too.

You’re not being possessive, just alert to her obvious intent. Ask him to stop responding. He doesn’t owe her anything more as a “friend,” since she doesn’t care how she affects his relationship.

TIP OF THE DAY

When everything’s going “wrong,” probe your own attitudes.

Read Ellie Monday to Saturday.