The trouble with online flirting

Q My parents moved a lot so I went to half a dozen schools. I later travelled and worked in several different cities.

The result is I have many friends on social media, and lots of them are old boyfriends or close guy friends.

My husband gets uncomfortable with that and often says my posts online are too close or even flirtatious.

I love my husband but I resent his monitoring my personal friendships.

Blocking him or keeping a private account is not the answer, he’d be furious.

Travel Bug

A Unless he’s unreasonably jealous regarding all your friendships with males, look closer at your posts with these guys who are close.

You may think that they see you now only as a longtime “buddy” or platonic ex, but over the years people and their circumstances change.

A friend who’s single and/or lonely may read you as reaching out. A guy who enjoys flirting, may get a kick out of ramping it up, creating opportunities for more play, perhaps meeting up.

Recognize that your partner not only has opinions (some of which seem wrong to you) BUT he also has feelings. These are what deserve a closer scrutiny of your online flirting, and toning it down for his comfort.

Q I think flirting is natural online for setting up to date or trying to re-connect.

But I found it offensive when the guy I hadn’t seen since high school 10 years ago called me “sweetie” in his first message!

I’d had a crush on him way back, but now he seems overthe-top, since he found me on Facebook and insisted he liked every photo of me (there are tons!) when even I know some were awful.

He was trying too hard, and I felt he’d be pushy in person too.

When he suggested in just his second message that he travel across the country to see me, I thought, this guy is way needy! Do you agree?

Class of ‘92

A Yes, either needy or rushing for adventure, rather than real emotion about you.

If you maintain some contact, don’t get swept up into his fantasy. Ask a lot of questions about his life and why he’s hurrying things.