Friend insists on celebrating birthday
Dear Abby: I was raised that a person’s birthday is his or her day to do whatever he or she wants, but my wishes are being ignored by a close friend I’ll call Wade.
For the last 10 years I have ignored my birthday and tried to avoid all celebrations. I’ll take a vacation alone and have a great time. My family understands how I feel and gives me no grief.
I met Wade five years ago. He’s a co-worker who has become a good friend. Wade has made it his goal in life to make me celebrate my birthday. I have tried being nice about the presents and even a surprise birthday party one year, but I really prefer to be left alone. I never told him my birth date. He had access to HR records and found out on his own.
He says I am “rude” for not letting him celebrate my birthday. Other than this issue, he’s a great guy. Advice, Abby? Non-Observant In Florida Dear Non-Observant: Wade may be a “great guy,” but he appears to be insensitive when it comes to respecting the feelings of others. Before your next birthday, “remind” him that you prefer not to celebrate or acknowledge it. A good friend should listen and respect the other person’s wishes. Dear Abby: My husband and I have been married for nine years. I worked until 2010, and then quit to be a stay-at-home mom to our two small children.
Because I no longer work, I watch what I spend, but my husband never lets me forget that he is the wage earner. When I want to spend money he always says, “What’s in it for me?” or, “What do I get?” I feel like this degrades me. Why does he do this to me? Stay-At-Home Mom In Georgia Dear Stay-At-Home Mom: Your husband may say it because he feels stressed or resentful that he is the sole wage earner now. The first time it happened you should have responded that “what’s in it for him” is that his children have a full-time mother, which the majority of children today don’t have, and “what he gets” out of it are offspring who have a mother rather than a caregiver raising them. Dear Abby is written by Jeanne Phillips, daughter of Pauline Phillips, the original Dear Abby. Write Abby at www.DearAbby.com or c/o The Ottawa Citizen, Box 5020, Ottawa, K2C 3M4. For a reply, send a self-addressed envelope. Abby covers postage. Include name and phone number if you want your letter published.