Border spats aplenty

Finding

few takers as he flipped

through a pile of badly scorched Alberta beef burgers on a serving tray, Treasury Board president Reg Alcock opted to bury them under more appetizing fare arriving from the barbecues. Typical Liberal Cabinet minister. Always covering something up.

Alcock was one of perhaps 100 MPs who joined all four federal party leaders yesterday on Parliament Hill for the largest pro-American feel-your-pain demonstration since the 9/ 11 memorial four years ago.

More than 4,000 people lined up with such gusto to buy $10 burgers that emergency supplies had to be rushed to the site. With support from corporate sponsors, an event dreamed up by MP Andy Savoy only a week or so ago raised $ 125,000 for Hurricane Katrina relief.

Will the White House notice such open-hearted neighbourliness? Not a chance. They’re more likely to fret about how U.S. ambassador David Wilkins was exposed to the risk of BSE in this mad cow country.

But perhaps the fundraiser serves as a culinary metaphor for the troubles Canada is having with the United States these days.

Under the appearances of goodwill for America, burning beefs are piling up as the world’s longest undefended border becomes the southern front for an escalating trade war.

Take a month, any month, and consider the irritants that appear to be multiplying and compounding. OK, let’s pick, um, this month, for example.

Out on the west coast, we have learned armed Minutemen are training to patrol the Washington border with B. C. to hunt down drug smugglers and terrorists sneaking into Fortress America.

The mad cow battle is breaking out again as six states side with American cattle producers for another court appeal to slam shut the border again to live cattle imports. They argue health dangers persist, a worry that’s a tad rich now that the U.S. has recorded its own outbreak of the disease.

Switch to the east coast on Monday, where our U. S. ambassador, Frank McKenna, was sounding the alarm that the United States is serious about demanding passports from Canadians and Americans crossing the border in two years.

So many Americans don’t bother owning passports that McKenna warns it will discourage 7.7 million visits to Canada per year, at a loss of almost $2billion in revenue. But ask officials in Ottawa if there’s a resolution in sight and they shrug.

Then came this month’s mother of all nagging irritants: Softwood lumber.

When International Trade Minister Jim Peterson met the U.S. ambassador on Tuesday, it was a signal that the softwood hostilities are set to resume after an unofficial truce to let the Bush administration cope with hurricane damage control.

Until a resolution is found, more than $ 3- million per day will be collected in antiand countervailing duties on Canadian softwood, a penalty that has been imposed since May, 2002.

We win a trade ruling. They ignore it. They appeal to a new authority. We win again. They reset the rules and make another attempt. Then ignore the verdict.

“It’s as if we end nine innings of play and we are winning big and they just order the game extended,” complained a senior trade official. “Canadians want their relationship with the States to work. We’re not anti-American, but we want our rights to be respected. Instead we get American domination.”

If you want gall, consider how those American free- traders are now offering to lift their illegal 20% lumber duty so our wood can be used to rebuild New Orleans and other storm-ravaged regions. Fair trade, it seems, is only fair when they need it.

Then there’s the question of the refund, a retroactive claim to the $5- billion they’ve improperly collected so far in the softwood dispute. The Americans warn this simply isn’t going to happen.

And yet, a tidbit shared with a surprised ambassador Wilkins this week, is that American trading partners such as Iraq are entitled to retroactively reclaim all duties if they were ruled illegal under international trade authorities, while Canada can’t reclaim a wooden nickel under its deal. Sources say even the ambassador understood this to be unfair.

What to do?

Well, the PMO says Martin will be contacting President George W. Bush as soon as hurricane season passes to warn that Canada has lost patience on the file. And lest we forget, Bush could make the problem disappear with the flick of his wrist, although we’re more likely to attract the wave of a middle finger.

Perhaps we could send Governor-General Michaëlle Jean south to wow Dubya and warm up the cold protective hearts of Congress and the White House. After all, governors general have been all over the globe, and solid memories can’t recall the last tour south of our border.

But when it’s mousey Canada versus the American elephant, we’d probably have better luck leaving our collective beefs on the barbecue than putting them in the hands of Canadian politicians and trade officials.