Calgary rocker stuck in ‘prison cell’ of clutter
Television show helps man with hoarding
One of TV’s best qualities is that it can take viewers places they’ve never been before, sharing vistas on lives and lands that would otherwise remain in the shadows.
On Wednesday, a door will open on the life of one Calgarian struggling to go on despite a series of life-altering losses. Hoarding: Buried Alive will profile Kelly Jay, a member of Crowbar, the Canadian rock band behind Oh, What A Feeling back in 1971. (Jay cancelled an interview with the Herald at the last minute through a TLC publicist.)
“You name it, I collect it, boy. I have a little bit of everything,” Jay says at the start of the episode, which was filmed in the fall.
And he does. From toy light sabres to vintage signs, a disco ball to almost unending rows of packed-to-the-max suitcases, Jay’s splitlevel home in southeast Calgary is overflowing with stuff. On and on it goes, rooms rendered useless, transformed into overflowing receptacles for Jay’s horde.
“Well Magic 8-Ball, should I continue hoarding?” Jay asks during the episode.
“The answer is yes,” he chuckles. His children aren’t laughing, though.
“The more people he loses in his life, the more he wants to hold on to his stuff,” says his step- daughter, Shawna. Her mother, Tami Jean, was Jay’s wife. She died unexpectedly at home this past summer. Bags of her clothes line the master bedroom, reminders of a woman now gone.
Jay has experienced loss before. Fifteen years ago, his daughter Tiffany moved to Tokyo and vanished. “It’s still a mystery to this day,” he says on the show. Then, the mother of his three children passed away in a car accident. The children moved in to the 1,500-square-foot house.
Shawna and her stepsister Bella urge their dad to confront the chaos in his home. They worry that the never-ending clutter is a fire trap and if his health failed, EMS would have a hard time accessing the home, which was the case with Tami Jean.
“I don’t want to be sad dad,” he says. “Perhaps all the little tchotchkes and everything else is a way of, ‘Well, I was feeling sad a few minutes ago, but I now that I bought this, it makes me smile and I’m happy.’”
Although reluctant, Jay accepts the offer of help that comes with appearing on the TV show. Behavioural therapist Dr. Natascha Santos and professional organizer Crystal Gregory help Jay and his family through the process, which stirs up old feelings and strains.
The experience clearly isn’t easy for him. Opening your home to strangers and showing them your shortcomings takes guts. But by sharing his struggle to escape the “prison cell” of his possessions, Jay is giving all of us something to hold on to: The vision that change for the better is possible.