Botswana remembers lives gone too soon

Each year on October 15th parents, siblings, friends and colleagues across the world pause and take a moment to remember the lives of babies that transitioned too soon.

For an hour, the world holds a vigil to remember these little souls through a creative concept based on progressive candle lightning ceremony to commemorate the life of each baby lost. Known as the Wave of Light, the candles are lit in memory of the babies who have died too soon through miscarriage, stillbirth, and new- born deaths as well as Sudden Infant Death Syndrome ( SIDS)/ Cot death.

The idea is to burn these candles for an hour from 1900- 2000Hrs in each time zone, forming a wave of light through the globe. The Global Wave of Light was established in 2004 by TerraLynn Coggan following the stillbirth of her nephew Riley Joseph.

At present the event is observed by many nations across the world. Internationally, October is Pregnancy and Infant Awareness Month. This year, Botswana took part in the commemorations for the first time, courtesy of local organisation, Cradle of Hope After Loss foundation.

Due to the COVID- 19 pandemic, the event did not physically take place. The founders of the organisation namely Margo Selepe, Brigette Wright, and Asmita Ranchod instead called everyone in Botswana to join them, and share pictures of their candles on the Cradle of Hope social media pages. With COIVD- 19 protocols in place, the women have to do away with holding a physical event. Leading up to this event, the trio and other women have been sharing their stories of loss. The stories are posted on the Cradle of Hope After Loss social media pages. And the response to the campaign has been phenomenal. Opening up a taboo subject that many people have been afraid to talk about, this is just one of the ways that the trio hope to raise awareness around this touchy but equally important subject. According to statistics one in four pregnancies ends in the loss of a child through miscarriage, still birth or in early infancy. Speaking in an interview with this publication on Tuesday this week, Ranchod explains that they have had a huge response especially from women who want to share their stories and acknowledge their losses. Some of the women who have reached out to them have never spoken out about their losses, and that some of them have spent years in silence, she said. “A lot of people are really happy about what we are trying to do, as there is a lack of support of this kind locally,” she said.

Many African countries such as Zambia, and Zimbabwe, also do not have a lot of structures/ support for women who go through these losses.

“In that sense a lot of women from different countries have reached out to us. I think it is something that will grow as it becomes acceptable to talk about. And it will open the door for more people, and will become more normal instead of leaving women isolated,” she says.

They have had a number of people reaching out to them, after going through a recent loss, looking for support. “This kind of support helps them to be emotionally resilient in the phase of the loss that they have gone through, and also help families,” she notes. Ranchod further says that they have a lot of queries from people who are looking for support for dads.

She further says that men grieve differently, and that often times they don’t talk about what they are going through. “We really want to see if there are men out there looking for support, and what we can do for them,” she highlights.

She revealed that one of the initiatives that they are looking into is opening up a support group for women in Zimbabwe on WhatsApp. “That is very close to my heart because I am a Zimbabwean and so many women have come forward and said that please start a group for us at least,” explains Ranchod.

She also highlights that the intention is to start the conversations, adding that they want to engage in different forums, and talk to different voices with how women are treated after a loss. One of these she says that there might be an oversight on the part of the medical staff when it comes to how bereavement can affect a mother. Often times, she says that a woman who suffered a still birth will be admitted in the maternity ward which really breaks their spirit to know that their baby has died, and yet they can hear babies crying and mothers birthing.

“So there is a lot that needs to be done around this issue,” says Ranchod.