BAVARIAN BLISS

SO FAR SO GOOD WITH THE ED’S NEW TOY

YOU MIGHT be familiar wit h t his sy ndrome. It happens when you go for t he f irst proper drive in your ‘new’ toy. That is, new to you, but in rea lit y a few decades old. This is t he acid test, t he time you work out whether it will be okay or, as you secret ly suspect, you’ve just blow n your dough.

In some ways, there’s a great arg ument for paying someone else to do this for you. A proper sha ke-down run where the driver has no emotional investment. But then you’d miss out on t he mix of fear and loat hing (sounds like a book t it le...), mixed wit h joy and relief.

Which is where we were the other weekend, spouse Ms M senior and I, pounding the pavement with our latest money-pit, the 1993 BMW 850Ci. In addition to hav ing 12 cylinders, it seems to have at least t wo of ever y t hing else – particula rly if it’s elect ronic. So, complex, v iciously expensive back in the day (think $220 grand in Oz) and now reaching an age where components are thinking of early retirement.

After some brief trips scutt ling around tow n, we took the plunge on a 500km day trip out into the countr yside, to places where there is no mobile phone coverage and, mid-Summer, people have signs out offering weird stuff like Nordic sk i hire (but no banjo lessons). What could possibly go wrong? In the end, nothing much.

We’ve discovered a few issues, such as one of t wo lamps t hat are hav ing a sulk, a climate control system t hat’s acting a litt le weird at times and t hat it has a prodigious t hirst. Trust me, if we hang on to this thing, you should buy shares in BP.

In the end we had a great old time in the monster. The V12 has been a llowed to make its voice heard thanks to a new and less restrictive ex haust system, and it sings a ver y distinctive tune. Though not particular y quick by current sta ndards, it corners dead f lat, feels secure, while t he combination of a low pillarless cabin wit h t he long snout out front makes it feel like a specia l place.

Fear and loathing? Nup, we just might get away with t his...