A PONY FOR YOUR THOUGHTS
At this opulent beachside resort, guests explore their emotions and life choices while the equine therapy programme reveals the healing power of horses.
Elton and I inhale the briny air coming off the Indian Ocean, our breaths finding tune with each other. Surrounded by a dozen other Sumba ponies – some rolling in the sand, others standing calmly in the turquoise water – I am now a part of the herd. As Elton plunges ever deeper, the water rises to my knees, hips, and finally my waist. I lean forward to stroke his neck, entwine my fingers in a chunk of mane and, as the swell catches us and he begins to swim, I become weightless, my legs streaming behind like ribbons on a kite.
To ride a horse into the sea is to be lifted beyond the earth’s orbit.
But this is no holiday horseplay, rather it’s the culmination of a five-day equine therapy programme known as Retreat and Conquer. In place of a sterile clinic, we’ve been ensconced at NIHI Sumba, a luxury hideaway on a private, 2.5km gold-sand beach on Sumba Island, Indonesia. My therapy partner is a 14-hand bay, with a spirited disposition and a love of the sea.
Descended from Mongolian and Arabian bloodlines, these fast and feisty horses were brought to the island of Sumba in eastern Indonesia by traders from the 8th to 18th centuries. Today, the Sumba pony is still an integral part of the island’s economy, religion and culture. A fortunate few, rescued or retired from racetracks, have found a new home at NIHI Sumba’s Sandalwood Stables.
“Today’s final session with the horses is about joy,” says psychotherapist Professor Andreas Liefooghe, as we return from our ocean swim. “We need to make room for the light as well as the shadows.”
CONNECTING WITH EMOTIONS
Founder of the London-based Operation Centaur, Professor Liefooghe has been helping people – including returned soldiers with PTSD and prison inmates – cope with everything from anxiety to grief, depression to addiction for over 20 years. He is now offering these evidence-based, equine-assisted psychotherapy programmes in some of the most remote and beautiful locations in the world, including NIHI Sumba, an easy one-hour flight from Bali. Horses are at the centre of the programme, but there is no requirement to ride, nor to have any horse knowledge. Therapy begins before we even lay eyes on a horse, as we delve into past traumas and connect with our emotions. Our first group session is held on the night of our arrival, high above the sands of Nihiwatu Beach on the outdoor deck of a treehouse. There’s a fire burning and a circle of empty chairs.
I’m at once curious and terrified – and I know where the exit is.
Professor Liefooghe and cotherapist Raul Aparici begin by talking about safety, encouraging us to mentally check in with ourselves, and to ask – “How do I keep myself safe while sharing stories with others?”
“Groups can feel dangerous,” says Aparici. “But if you listen, you will hear that we all carry echoes of what each other is sharing.” One by one stories emerge of grief and loss, of guilt and failed relationships, of feelings of inadequacy. Some cry, some stay silent. When I speak, it’s about my constant need to ‘fix’ things for my family and friends, of putting other peoples’ needs and feelings above my own, of shouldering too much responsibility and burning myself out. And then resenting it. “We can’t control other people, we can’t fix other people, but we can fix in here [pressing his hand to his heart],” says Aparici. “That’s real support. The task of this retreat is to learn more about yourself. The more you know about yourself, the better you’ll understand the process by which you make choices.”
MANE EVENT
The following morning, after our regular 7am group session in the treehouse, it is time to meet the herd. Not just meet the herd, but to choose the horse we are drawn to. “Or maybe the horse will choose you,” says Professor Liefooghe. “Horses are incredibly effective communicators. And they don’t rely on language to do so. There’s no opinion with horses. What you see is what you get.” Professor Liefooghe explains that
working with horses can speed up traditional therapy by weeks or even months. “There are physical dangers to working with horses. You can get trodden on. You can get kicked. You can get bitten,” he says. “So, your mind starts to focus on that, rather than wondering how you’re going to get hurt emotionally.”
From a grassy hilltop we watch as the horses gallop on the beach below us, a thunder of light and swirling sand. The hairs on my arms stand on end as childhood memories begin to surface; of a bedroom wall plastered with photos of wild brumbies; the pain of rejection – aged just four years – when my father ‘ran away’, and the ensuing burden of responsibility of helping to look after my baby sister. And finally, gratitude, for being raised and loved by a fiercely independent single mother, who worked tirelessly, sacrificing so much so I could eventually own a pony of my own. As the thoughts swirl I am drawn to
Elton, a spirited youngster who seems adrift from the others. Over the coming days our ‘sessions’ together offer opportunities to help me learn to live a more fully examined life. “Connecting with horses allows us to connect with something deep inside ourselves,” says Professor Liefooghe. “In effect, they are a mirror to what is really going on.”
DISCOVERING OURSELVES
Leading our horses along the beach gives time for quiet contemplation, while team-building activities – such as creating an obstacle and attempting to get our horses across it – helps us explore feelings of frustration and impatience. “You don’t have to be attached to an emotion, if it doesn’t serve you,” says Professor Liefooghe. “Dropping it can make room for something else.”
Late one afternoon we gather on the beach in assigned pairs to share stories of our lives. “Just hold the space, be present, be curious,” says Aparici. “When your partner has finished speaking, look at yourself and see what questions you want to ask.”
As we learn, the questions we ask reveal lots about ourselves. And this is how we get to know ourselves better.
“It’s not my job to get to know people, it’s your job to get to know YOU,” says Professor Liefooghe. “I’m just here to help facilitate that.”
While the retreat ends with the much-anticipated horse swim and a final debriefing session, the magic of the resort continues for a few more days. It was founded in 1988 as Nihiwatu, a humble beach lodge run by Claude and Petra Graves for fellow surfers drawn to the legendary wave known as Occy’s Left. By 2012, tales of this surfers’ paradise reached American entrepreneur Christopher Burch, who, together with hotelier James McBride took over the reins and developed it into a luxury resort of 27 villas and treehouses set among 230 hectares of beach and jungle.
While the resort of today has private plunge pools and personalised excursions, many guests are still here for the perfect wave, washing up from Occy’s Left straight into the beachfront bar. The activities list reads like a design-your-own adventure, offering everything from hikes to local Stone Age sites to private yacht charters with Rascal Voyages. One morning I join a 1.5-hour ‘Spa Safari’ trek to the resort’s spa Nihioka, perched high above the crashing waves of the Indian Ocean. While the treatments leave me in a state of bliss, it was the chance to walk through rice fields and Sumbanese villages, where children follow, calling out ‘I love you’, that will forever be etched on my psyche.
The penny drops on my final morning, as I sit on the sand watching the horses gallop by. There’s a bit of bucking and biting, as they jostle to find their place in the herd, but they keep moving forward, as boundaries are set and accepted. Mid-retreat, we’d been encouraged to write what emotions we want to leave behind on the island onto a postcard and burn it in a beach bonfire. My card remains blank, but in this moment the words come easily: “Setting boundaries isn’t selfish, it’s self-care.” I slip the card into my pocket, a keepsake destined to be pinned above my writing desk at home. Never have I felt so free.
“TO RIDE A HORSE INTO THE SEA IS TO BE LIFTED BEYOND THE EARTH’S ORBIT.”
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Creating a bond with animals enriches our lives and relationships with other humans. mindfood.com/pet-therapy